I sold my soul on eBay.

Yes, They Really Will Sell Anything Online These Days.
by J.M. Steadman

In today's world of e-commerce, it seems that there is nothing one cannot buy (or sell) online. Items taboo, illegal, out of print or Unbelievably Hard To Find Only Five In Existence can all can all be found up for grabs in one form or another on various sites around the 'net. As an illustration of just how far this has gone, a little bit of poking around eBay and Yahoo! revealed no less than seven people auctioning off their souls.

That's right, their souls. And at discount prices, no less.

This, when you think about it, has all kinds of possibilities. Are you a megalomaniacal power freak with aspirations of eventually conquering Hell and enslaving the souls it contains? Why wait? Bid NOW and start your collection early! Are you an average joe who's fallen upon hard times? Money problems? Low grades? Has it seemed at times that you would sell your very soul to gain relief? Why do that when you can buy someone else's soul at low cost to yourself and sell that to the supernatural being(s) willing to provide you with aid?

For your convenience, I've listed the souls I located below with their title, seller, and price at the time of this writing. Who knows? Maybe the help you desperately need from Old Scratch isn't so expensive after all.

[IMPORTANT NOTE:] As I originally wrote this in mid-Jan. 2000, this page is now horridly out of date and all of the following auctions are long since complete. The only reason why I haven't gotten rid of it is because I'm too much of a pack rat to really toss out anything. However, it is still possible to buy souls online by searching for auctions with titles similar to the ones listed below.

Souls On eBay
Item# Title Seller Price
#228353410 my soul!!!!!!!!!! greengoblin3 (9) $2.25
#229796845 My Soul ezln81 (0) $0.01
#232908241 For Sale: One Young Mans Soul. rubee33@onebox.com (0) $10.00
#232146378 MY SOUL!!!!!!!!! alzoeus (5) $8.00

Souls On Yahoo!
Item# Title Seller Price
#13746660 ONE HUMAN SOUL comic_hell (0) $10.99
#14754484 My Soul russel_e_jackson (0) $0.17
#13965239 One (1) Human Soul, in jar jahicks1 (3) $1.69

"In the new millenium you'll be able to sell your soul in a nanosecond!"
-- Sluggy Freelance

(c) J.M. Steadman, 2000