plepant@nyx.cs.du.edu (Paul Lepant)


AUTHOR'S NOTE: it is my assumption that the readers of this fanfic are
familiar with not only the Urusei Yatsura series as a whole, but also
specifically with one of the television episodes in particular. In the
US this episode can be found on vol 7 of the tape series distributed by
AnimEigo inc. Oddly enough, this tape DOES seem to be in almost all of
the video rental outlets that have any significant amount of anime
available. (video outlets in my geographic area are notoriously
haphazard in their anime selection) It is my belief that the viewing of
this tape is not necessary for the ENJOYMENT of this fanfic. I am
however, certain that the viewing of this episode (or the reading of the
equivalent manga, if there is one) IS necessary if you are to understand
the story. This story takes place sometime after the aforementioned
episode.

Please send c&c and flames to plepant@nyx.net

This story is written by a fan, for the enjoyment of fans. All
characters and situations within are based on material by Rumiko
Takahashi. This story is not to be sold or used for profit in any
manner.

                   The Little Woodsman humbly offers,

                                 "Papa"
                  a Urusei Yatsura fanfic in one part

     Classes were over for the day, but Ataru Moroboshi was not
relaxing. Instead he was pelting down the halls of Tomobiki High while
Megane and the rest of Lum's fan club gave chase, waving brooms and
other cleaning supplies in threat. "MOROBOSHI!", yelled the erstwhile
leader of his pursuers. "We helped you pass that math exam, now pay us
what you PROMISED!"
     Those students who remained in Tomobiki's halls at this hour,
cleaning or putting in their time for special interest clubs or school
projects were well-used to the hijinks of Ataru and those who kept
company with him regularly. They merely moved to the side of the halls
as the unlucky Moroboshi sped past, the girls moving farther over than
was perhaps, absolutely necessary to avoid collisions.
     Ataru put on an extra burst of speed as he rounded the corner of
the hall where the science classrooms were. Ducking into one of the chem
labs, he held the door closed and pressed his ear to it, trying to quiet
his breathing as he listened for sounds of his pursuers. Satisfied that
they weren't immediately outside the door, Ataru opened it a crack and
pressed his eye to the gap. What he saw was not encouraging. Megane &
co, as well used to Ataru's ways as the other students of Tomobiki, had
not sped through the hall and blindly down the stairs as he had hoped.
Instead, they were now gathered at the end of the hall, hotly debating
which lab to storm first. As Ataru was beginning to think he would have
to chance another mad dash through the building, an ear-piercing cry of
*EEK! HENTAI!* sounded from around the corner, immediately followed by
the sound of a loud slap. Megane & co immediately turned and rushed
towards the source of the noise, assuming (with due cause) that Ataru
HAD to be the source of the screamer's consternation. Ataru stood up
straight, his gaze fixed on the corner around which his pursuers had
vanished. Though relieved, he was somewhat perplexed. After all, who
besides he in all of Tomobiki High inspired such reactions >from
females?
     As Ataru remained standing at the door with his attention fixed on
the corner that Megane & co. had disappeared around, a hand fell on his
shoulder. "Moroboshi," an even mellow voice came from behind him. "What
did you do to upset your friends so this time?"
     "Oh," replied Ataru, his attention still fixed on the corner that
his pursuers had vanished around. "I promised that if they would help me
pass the big math exam, I would get them some pictures of Lum sleeping."
The unkempt boy finally relaxed his intent scrutiny of the hallway. "But
every time I tried to open the closet door Ten would wake up and scorch
me, so I couldn't deliver," he finished, finally turning to look at his
questioner. "Ulp," he said as his gaze took in an immaculately groomed
figure in spotless white clothes. "M-Mendo, what are you doing here?"
     "I came to this laboratory to mix up some special polishing
compound for my katana," Mendo replied in his usual level tone,
unsheathing the weapon in question under the nose of a sweating Ataru,
who was making frantic "Ah, ahm" noises as he backed against the
doorframe. "See how it gleams, Moroboshi? It is far too fine a weapon to
be used on the likes of you. BUT," Mendo's voice finally rose in anger,
"SINCE IT IS WHAT I HAVE TO HAND!" the fury in his eyes matching his
voice as he drew the sword back for a fatal swing.
     Ataru took advantage of the space provided by Mendo pulling back
the katana and made a break for it. And so his mad dash down the halls
resumed, now with a different, more lethal pursuer.

     The afternoon sun shone down on the grounds of Tomobiki High, so
that the immaculate lawn and green trees made an idyllic setting. If you
could ignore the screams and crashes emenating from inside the building,
that is. A beautiful girl with green hair and horns, wearing a school
uniform descended from the warm blue sky towards a small group of
students.
     "Hello Odayaka," the green-haired beauty addressed the girl she
knew best. "Have you seen Darl..." her words were cut off by a
particularly loud crash from the third floor of the building. "Never
mind," the oni said, smiling at her friend as she began to rise back
into the air. "I've found him."


     Inside the school, Ataru was becoming desperate. Mendo was much
more physically fit than his previous pursuers had been. This combined
with the fact that he hadn't had a chance to get his breath back after
the first chase made it difficult for him to maintain his lead. Up
ahead, Ataru saw the door to lecture room three standing open. Knowing
that the room had an exit on the other side, and that it was crowded
with too many desks, Ataru sped through the enrance, in hopes that the
clutter would slow down his pursuer. Slamming the door he had come
through behind him, he leapt over the clutter of desks and ran out the
opposite door pulling it shut behind him as well.

     Mendou saw his quarry enter the classroom, taking a fraction of a
second to slam the door behind him. Only Moroboshi would expect such
pathetic obstacles to slow down one who was bent on righteous vengance.
Mendou skidded to a halt and yanked the door open, prepared to dash
after the vile creature he was chasing. He was not prepared, however,
for the hundreds of white objects that flew at him through the doorway.
His senses were obscured and panic began to rise in him as he was
assailed by a seemingly endless flurry of white that flew directly at
his face. He swung his katana frantically, but it was like trying to cut
a raincloud. Eventually, the white objects ceased their attack on the
young man and drifted down the hall, separating and leaving by a
multitude of different routes. The heir to the Mendou family fortune
lowered his sword and gazed in bewilderment at the departing
....butterflies?

     Ataru stopped at the top of the school's northeast stairwell.
Somehow, he seemed to have lost Mendou completely after leading him
through the lecture hall, but Ataru knew that he wasn't out of the woods
yet. The rich kid still had to be around somewhere, after Ataru's blood
and waving that sword of his around. Why did the school faculty let him
carry that thing anyway? Ataru snorted to himself. Maybe if he had
gotten really lucky Mendou had tripped on the way through the lecture
hall and cut his own head off. Ataru sighed and shook his head at his
own wishful thinking. Mendou might be a complete fool, but a klutz he
wasn't. Even if Mendou were out of the picture, Ataru still had Megane
and his goon squad to contend with. Getting out of the school without a
beating or a maiming was going to take all of his talent. Ataru looked
thoughtfully out the open window next to him. There was that tree right
next to the window, and if he left by that route he was almost certain
to lose his pursuers. Still, those branches looked awfully thin to bear
his weight. Better to try and sneak down the stairwell and out the door
at it's bottom. He was just about to begin his descent when he was
interrupted by a cry of "Darling!"
     "Lum-Chan!" Ataru said, for once glad to see his erstwhile fiancee
floating towards him through the hall. The sight of her had inspired a
plan in his devious mind. "When was the last time I took you out for
tea, Lum?"
     The oni girl halted in midair, slightly puzzled by her darling
earth boy's unusual reaction to her presence. "You've never taken me out
for tea," mild reproach showed through her words. "You know that."
     "Then it's past time that I did, don't you think? Lum," he said
stepping forward to take her hands between his own "do you remember that
little cafe by the park? It would be so romantic to sit together under
those willow trees by the cafe entrance. Why don't you fly us there,
right NOW?"
     "OH DARLING!" Lum exclaimed, joy radiating from her smile.
     *All right!* thought Ataru. *I DO get to leave out the window, and
all it'll cost me is the price of a couple of cups of tea!* Glee at the
success of his plan, however, was short- lived, as Chibi's voice cut
into his thoughts.
     "There he is!" The diminutive Lum fan was pointing at Ataru from
the foot of the stairs. He and his three compatriots began to charge up
the stairs, yelling. "Photos of Lum sleeping for getting you through
that exam was the deal now PAY UP!"
     "MOROBOSHI!" Ataru turned to see that Mendou had finally caught up
and was now charging towards him, katana raised high. "FOR USING LUM IN
SUCH A DESPICABLE MANNER YOU MUST DIE!!"
     With pursuers closing in from both his left and right sides, Ataru
looked forward, only to see a sight more fearful yet. Lum's body cracled
with electricity, but the arcs leaping >from her hands were nothing
compared to the fury blazing from her eyes. Ataru backed up, barely
catching himself as he started to topple out of the open window behind
him. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that the ground was as
far away as ever. His pursuers from either side had dropped their pace
to a slow walk. Certain that they had him trapped, they were relishing
closing in for the kill.
     "So," Lum said, raising her arms above her head and entwining her
fingers together in a gesture that Ataru found all too familiar. "You
won't go for walks with me in the park." Her voice rose in both pitch
and volume. "You won't eat my cooking." Her voice rose higher still.
"But you will trade pictures of me for test answers!?!" Ataru's eyes
were the size of saucers and he was leaned backwards almost halfway out
the window. He had never seen Lum build up SO much electricity before
discharging it. Her voice had now risen to a shrill scream as she
brought her hands down, levelling her extended index fingers at his
chest. "DARLING, I *HATE* YOU!!!"
     As the electricity arced towards him, Ataru flopped backwards
through the window and the glass slammed down. Striking the
nonconductive glass, Lum's lightning bolt reflected off at odd angles,
neatly catching Megane & co on one side, and Mendou on the other. Lum
looked on in consternation as the teenage boys lit up like x-rays and
contorted into seemingly impossible positions.

     From his vantage point tangled in the branches of the tree, Ataru
looked at the incandescent glow, and listened with some satisfaction to
the screams of his classmates. *Serves them right* he thought. They were
always so happy to see Lum zap him that he had no sympathy when they got
a taste of what it felt like. Still, he couldn't stay to enjoy their
lesson in pain. His own position was too precarious. *Odd* he thought as
he rapidly climbed downwards. That window had slammed down at precisely
the right moment. And he could have sworn that he felt something PULL
him out of the window. Oh well, he'd worry about it sometime later,
after he had reached the relative safety of home.

************************************************************************

     Ataru trudged the last few yards to his house, his bookbag held
against his back in that odd, over-the-shoulder way that he had. (No,
not his real bookbag, the fake one that he kept wrapped in plastic and
stashed in the bush around the corner for days like this when he had to
leave school quickly and didn't want his parents to know that he wasn't
bringing his homework home. Hey, this wasn't the first time he'd had to
do this.) He sighed wearily. Those all-over-the school chases had really
begun to take it out of him lately. Shuffling up the last few steps to
the front step he almost tripped on an unfamiliar object that had been
left in front of the house. He picked up the brown paper sack and peered
at it's contents curiously. Now why would anyone leave their groceries
on his front doorstep? As he examined this latest puzzle of the day the
front door opened and his mother emerged. One glance at her folded arms
and pursed lips told him that he was in greater trouble than usual.
     "Well, I see you found your way home at least," his mother said
tersely. "But I know you've forgotten to get the things I asked you to
pick up for the special dinner I was going to make for your father
tomorrow, since you left the envelope with the list AND the money lying
on the kitchen counter this morning." To Ataru's perspective his mother
suddenly seemed to fill the entire skyline and be wreathed with flames.
"You DO remember that Father's day is tomorrow, and that it only comes
once a year, and that your father puts up with more from you than..."
her words trailed off and her appearance returned to normal as she took
notice of the package in her son's arms. Stepping forward she took it
from him and examined it's contents. "Chicken, garlic, green
onions...everyting's here." She rummaged in the bottom of the sack and
pulled out a small brightly wrapped box, then looked up so that her gaze
met her son's. "You remembered everything, and even bought him a
gift--all with your own money." She shifted the bag into the crook of
her left arm and stepped forward to embrace her son with her right,
resting her head on his shoulder. "Oh Ataru," she murmured. "I'm so glad
you were born." Ataru remained standing dumbfounded for as his mother
turned and re-entered the house, and for some time after.

************************************************************************

     Ataru had his eyes mostly closed and was pinching the bridge of his
nose between his thumb and forefinger as he entered his room. *You think
I would get used to all this weirdness eventually* he thought as he
tossed his erzatz bookbag onto the table.
     "So, you're home." Ataru turned to see his alien fiancee standing
next to the closet which had become her personal space in recent weeks.
Her tone of voice was flat and her gaze cold. She had been waiting for
him. Being able to fly had it's advantages. "I thought maybe you could
help me make up my mind," she continued in the same icy tones. "Should I
just incinerate you now, or drag you back home and feed you to something
really awful, like my *father* or *Rei*?"
     Ataru had backed up to the table and had his hands put out in front
of him as he stammered "L-Lum, I can explain." His mind worked furiously
as he tried desperately to make up an excuse for the day's events. Lum
usually calmed down after a short while. He'd never had to deal with her
anger on a single subject once they'd been separated for a short time,
and he had assumed that today would be the same.
     "I think really," the oni went on in the same frigid manner, "that
incinerating you now is the best thing." "After all," she said as she
raised one hand in an almost careless manner, "I wouldn't want to listen
to your rotten excuses all the way back to my planet."
     Ataru was now convinced that the end had come. He closed his eyes
waiting for the inevitable final ZZARK! When the lethal zap didn't come,
he slowly opened one eye, then the other.
     Lum's gaze had shifted slightly. He turned his head to see what had
captured her attention.
     On the table, next to his fake bookbag was a teddy bear. A plush
green teddy bear with horns. Tied around it's neck with a red ribbon was
a folded card.
     Lum's arm had dropped, and her expression had softened slightly.
She drifted over to the table, giving Ataru a sidelong, wary glance as
she drew even with him. Something about that look gave him a worse
feeling in the pit of his stomach than the threat of death had. *She
expects me to hurt her again* he thought. Why did that sicken him so?
     Lum picked up the teddy bear, continuing to give Ataru that
cautious glance. She opened the card with one hand, and lowered her eyes
to read it. From the angle he was at, Ataru could not see what was
written on the card, but apparently whatever it said affected Lum
deeply. As she read, her expression changed to sadness. She bit her
lower lip, and tears stood out in her eyes. Finally, she lowered the
card and looked up at the boy she had been pursuing for so long. Finally
the tears in her eyes burst forth as she flung herself on him, wrapping
him in her arms and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll try not to judge
you so harshly from now on."
     Rather bewildered, Ataru put his arms around her. Maybe she wasn't
so bad after all.

************************************************************************

     Late that night, Ataru was lying on his futon in the middle of the
room, snoring as lustily as always. Apart from his snores, the room was
perfectly still. Atop the table, a tiny head peeked out from around the
side of a coffee mug. The head was then followed by a small, but
perfectly formed feminine body. The tiny creature stood no more than a
handspan high. Everything about her was purest white, her skin, her hair
and the gauzy tunic she wore. Delicate antennae waved gently on her
forehead, and gossamer white butterfly wings fluttered gently on her
back. A soft white glow seemed to emenate from her, adding to the
ethereal quality of her features. She walked softly to the edge of the
table, and fluttered to the floor. With many a backward look at the
sleeping boy, she crossed the room to stand by the closet. Glancing once
more at Ataru to make sure he was fast asleep, she put her hands to the
tiny gap between the closet door and it's jamb pushing it open a mere
centimeter. She froze and an expression of alarm crossed her face as
Ten, floating some three feet off the ground, stirred and spoke in his
sleep. The beautiful pixie waited until she was certain that the
diminutive alien was not waking, and then squeezed through the gap in
the door. Inside the closet, she gazed fondly at the alien girl, fast
asleep with the green teddy bear snuggled up under her chin. Making her
way softly across the closet floor, the little pixie jumped up on Lum's
shoulder, and leaned over to whisper in the alien girl's ear at some
length. The tiny creature then stared fondly at the oni for a while,
before planting a soft kiss on her cheek and tiptoeing out of the
closet. Once she had closed the closet door, the delicate creature
walked softly over to where Ataru slept. A flutter of her wings took her
into the air, to land on the sleeping boy's chest. Dropping into a
cross-legged position, she rested her left elbow on her knee, and her
chin in her left hand, while her right hand stroked his chest gently.
She smiled, somewhat sadly, and shook her head with her chin still
resting on her palm. "You really are a handful, aren't you?" she asked,
her eyes resting on Ataru's face. She shifted gracefully out of her
sitting position to lie on her side. "I love you," she murmured in her
sweet little voice as her eyes slowly closed and her head came to rest
on her arms.
     "Papa."