Scott Jamison A MOTHER'S WISH by Scott K. Jamison (Note: Urusei Yatsura and its associated characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement is intended.) Mrs. Moroboshi groaned as she forced herself awake. Another day in her own private hell. Her husband was still sleeping, a useless lump in the darkness. *You did this to me!* she thought. Dark thoughts of seppuku, or at least divorce, ran through her head again. She pushed herself off the futon, performed her ablutions, and dressed for the day. She had to check to make sure it actually was a clean outfit; all of her clothing followed the same pattern lately. Just like her life. Mrs. Moroboshi passed by her son's door on the way to the kitchen. She could hear faint moans as his never-ending harem dream continued. "Shinobu-chan...Ryo-chan...Ryuu-chan...Lum-chan, a little lower..." His mother shuddered a bit. She never should have borne him. Yet somehow, she endured each day, despite the shame... Breakfast was soon ready, not that anyone was really grateful. Ataru argued with Ten-chan, Lum argued with Ataru, and Mr. Moroboshi hid behind his newspaper, just like every day. At last they were all out the door, and Mrs. Moroboshi had some relative peace. But not for long. Soon the calls began, from angry women Ataru had propositioned, from angry men whose girlfriends Ataru had propositioned, from shopkeepers and the like whose venues had been accidentally damaged by Ataru and a few bigoted wackos complaining about the Moroboshis harboring dangerous aliens. Then visits from her "friends". Each anxious to share gossip about the latest stupid thing Ataru had done, and to find out new dirt. She must have done something truly awful in a previous life, to deserve such a fate. Somehow, the housework got done despite the interruptions. She even had time for a relaxing cup of tea before the calm was shattered by the return of her worthless son, this time with half his class in tow. They rampaged through the house, scuffing the floors, breaking the doors, making weird stains on the ceiling, and generally being nuisances. "I will use the Wishing Star to make Darling faithful to me-cha!" cried Lum, as she pursued a small sparkling object through the air. "No, vengeance will be mine!" snarled the normally much cuter Ran. "Ha-rem! Ha-rem!" was the all too predictable refrain from Ataru. Shinobu bashed him with a table. "I'll have a boyfriend of my very own!" "Punish Ataru!" chimed in Lum's Guards. "Foolish peasants. Only the great Mendou is worthy of using the Wishing Star. Lum will be mine!" Ryuunosuke made a leap for the Star. "I'll wish my stupid father into someone decent!" "I'll finally be rid of this stupid curse!" said some red-headed girl Mrs. Moroboshi didn't recognize. She'd had quite enough of this. "QUIET!!" (Or in Japanese, "Urusei!") Everyone screeched to a halt. "We will settle this the sensible and adult way." "Oh. That makes sense." "Why didn't I think of that?" Mrs. Moroboshi smiled. "Lum-chan, would you hand me that?" The alien girl complied. The Wishing Star felt uncomfortably warm to the touch. "Now will someone explain just what this thing is?" After much interruption and cross-talk, it turned out to be simple enough. One wish, any one desire would be fulfilled. Each of the people outlined the reasons why their wish should get priority. "I see. Well, in that case, I see that the wish should go to...me!" While everyone was facefaulting, she took the opportunity to say, "This whole mess started with one big mistake that I'm going to fix right now! I wish I'd had a daughter instead!" There was the traditional flash of light as several people (especially Ataru) screamed. * * * Mrs. Moroboshi groaned as she forced herself awake. Another day in her own private hell. She glanced at her husband, a useless lump in the dark. *This is all your fault!* she thought. She pushed herself off the futon, made her ablutions and got dressed. She didn't even check to see if it was a clean outfit. She no longer cared. Sounds of moaning were coming from her child's room as she passed it, and Mrs. Moroboshi shuddered. *Even while sleeping! What did I do wrong?* The constant lechery, the insane aliens, the gratuitous property damage... At least she got some help making breakfast. She knocked loudly. "Alielle, it's time to get up!" THE END SKJAM! (El-Hazard also someone else's creation, of course. Comments to majks@cyberx.com)