syegul@ix.netcom.com (Serdar Yegulalp)

THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY AND IS NOT TO BE TAKEN AS A SERIOUS ENDORESEMENT OF 
ANY COMPANY OR PRODUCT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Lum Signs With IBM To Push OS/2 Warp In Japan

TOKYO, March 13 -- Lum, the daughter of the alien Invader, has signed a five 
million yen agreement to endorse IBM's OS/2 Warp operating system in a series 
of television ads to air this summer...

* * *

(SCENE: The Moroboshi's house. Dinnertime.
(Present are ATARU and his PARENTS.
(All dialogue is in Japanese with SUBTITLES.)

ATARU: "I was thinking of buying a computer."
MR. MOROBOSHI: "You think about improving your grades first."
ATARU: "But Microsoft's got this new Chicago thing..."
MR. MOROBOSHI: "You see what kind of a son we have?! He's already lining up to 
buy it and it isn't even in the store!"
MRS. MOROBOSHI: "I should never have had him..."

(Ataru keels over in disgust. LUM enters, toting the OS/2 box. JARITEN floats 
in with her.)

LUM: "Darling! I've found the perfect software for all of us!"
ATARU: "OS/2 Warp?"
JARITEN: "Easy enough to install that even a dummy like you can do it."
LUM: "Look! It even comes with Internet access. Oh, I've always wanted to surf 
the 'net on Earth! Just think -- now we can do it *together*!"

(She throws her arms around him. ZZZZZZAP!
(Super titles: "IBM -- Solutions for a small galaxy.")

* * *

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE URUSEI YATSURA CHARACTERS...

DOS: Mr. Moroboshi. Earnest, hard-working, and dull as dirt. Also outdated.

Windows 3.x: Lum. Lovely and diverse, but you never know when you're going to 
get toasted.

Windows NT: Benten. Powerful, but what a bitch on wheels.

OS/2: Mendo. Backed with more money than God, and still worthless.

SCO UNIX: Cherry. Ugly as hell and twice as cantankerous.

Mac OS: Sakura. Very pretty, and ultra-incompetent.

THIS HAS BEEN A PARODY... NOW BACK TO OUR REGULAR FANDOM

-- 
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syegul@ix.netcom.com
                                                         You can crush me as
                                                     I speak  write on rocks
                                                what you feel  now feel this
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