Ryan Mathews Recently, I spent a short vacation at Anime's newest theme park, AnimEigo Studios Wilmington. Can't say enough about the place. Great accomodations, fun rides (especially the BGC "Crisis in Mega-Tokyo" ride), and hey, I'd rather look at lovely young ladies dressed as Lum, Miyu, and Belldandy than a six-foot-tall laughing rodent any day. Anyway, during my tour of the subbing and dubbing facilities, I got lost. I ended up in the AnimEigo vault before I was discovered. There is some *really neat* stuff in there, all kinds of things that AnimEigo acquired the rights to, and then, for one reason or another, was unable to release. My eye immediately fell upon a curious tape called "URUSEI YATSURA TV 6 1/2". After some pleading, whining, begging, and groveling, the most gracious Mr. Robert Woodhead agreed to let me borrow it. He also told me the story behind the tape, which contains four episodes of UY that were never released in Japan. After completing the work, they were informed by Kitty that their contract didn't include those episodes and were politely asked not to release them. So it went into the vault. I've also received permission to put one of the translated scripts on the Net, because "no one will believe it anyway". Here's the copy on the back of the cassette, following a brief character sketch of the fish-alien: "In this special collection of unreleased episodes, an Oni bean-dish gives Ataru a case of one kiloton explosive gas, Ten's cigarette-smoking, Lum's deliquent twin sister arrives to make Ataru's life hell, Lum learns she must consummate her marriage or be forced to remarry, and the whole cast searches desperately for needed medicine before Benten's extreme case of PMS destroys the town! Urusei Yatsura: it's Japanese for 'totally f**ked up'!" I've decided to post the script for the third episode. I want to apologize in advance for leaving some "Japanese-isms" untranslated, such as the name suffixes. I just like 'em, I guess. :-) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- LUM'S DEADLINE [The episode opens on four girls in school uniforms as they sneak through a small park area, a redhead, a brunette, one with short black hair and glasses and one with long black hair in the lead. The girls walk slowly and stealthily, looking nervously about them with each step. Finally, the four stop behind a large tree.] GLASSES Uhhh, so, what's everyone going to get Mendo-san for his birthday? LEADER [placing a finger to her lips] Shhhh! GLASSES Sorry. Just trying to break the tension. LEADER We cannot afford the slightest lapse in concentration. Our enemy could be anywhere! REDHEAD Oh, the shame of it all! To be reduced to sneaking through the park just to get home from school! LEADER Silence! The coast appears clear. [The four walk forward. The houses on the far side of the park come into view, haloed in bright light.] There it is! Our freedom! [Ataru Moroboshi appears out of nowhere.] ATARU [grinning] BABES! [The girls all scream.] LEADER Split up! He can't catch all of us! [The girls run every which way, but each keeps running into Ataru, his little black book at the ready.] [Ataru blocks the brunette.] ATARU Can I have your phone number? [The brunette screams and runs away. The girl in glasses tries to hide behind a tree, but Ataru is already there.] ATARU How about your address? [She screams and runs the other way. The redhead almost makes it to the road separating her from the houses, but Ataru beats her there.] ATARU Are you free tonight? [She screams and runs away. The leader runs for her life.] LEADER Almost... almost made it! [But she makes a wrong turns and finds her path blocked by rocks.] Oh, no! [She turns around to see a maniacally grinning Ataru, pen in book.] Tr-trapped like a rat! Kyoko! Kurumi! Minako! Save yourselves! REDHEAD Farewell, Hitomi-sama! You will not be forgotten! GLASSES Shut up and run! ATARU Babe! We're alone at last! How about a date! LEADER Look, I've got money! I'll pay you to go away! ATARU [shocked] Money?! Can money soothe the passion in my heart? Can money fill the void in my soul? How much? LEADER [digging in her pockets] Well, let's see, uh, ... Off-screen voice [furious] DAAAAAAAAARLING!! ATARU Uh-oh... [He turns around to find a livid Lum floating a few feet behind him.] La-La-La-Lum! It--it's not what you think! I, um, I'm taking a survey for my economics class! [To Hitomi:] So, do you prefer instant or cup ramen? LEADER Get away from me! LUM Darling can't even walk home from school without chasing girls! [Electricity begins to arc between her hands.] ATARU No! Wait! Lum! At least give me a head start! [Lum rears back to fire.] LUM DIVINE RETRI--!! [Lum is interrupted by a beeping sound coming from her suit.] Oh! I've got a call! [She flies away] I'll deal with you later, Darling! [Ataru watches her leave.] ATARU Whew. Saved by the bell. [He turns around...] Babe! [...but Hitomi is gone.] Awwww... [Lum flies up to her UFO, goes inside and hits a button in the control room. A screen flickers and shows her parents.] MR.& MRS. ONI Hello, Lum! LUM Mother! Father! What a pleasant surprise! MRS. ONI It's been so long since we talked to you. How is life on Earth? LUM Oh, wonderful! I'm having so much fun here. MR. ONI That's so good to hear. And how has your husband been treating you? LUM Heh, heh... Well, you know Darling. [Lum's parents glance at each other nervously.] MRS. ONI [to her husband] You have to ask her, dear. LUM Ask me what? MR. ONI Uh, Lum, dear, uh (ahem)... Are you... (cough, cough)... Are you still a virgin? [Lum's face registers extreme shock.] LUM FATHER! What a thing to ask your daughter! MRS. ONI You know your father wouldn't ask such an insensitive thing unless it was very important. MR. ONI You see, Lum, our family is in trouble with the Oni High Council. They've never liked the fact that you and young Moroboshi have never had an official wedding. Now they've put their foot down. If you don't have an official mate by the end of the next lunar period, they're going to nullify your claim to the throne! LUM Could they do such a thing? MR. ONI Of course! Which is why, if you can't make it official with your Darling, I must insist that you remarry! LUM [shocked] WHAT?! NO! NEVER! I love Darling and only Darling! I'll never agree to it! MRS. ONI But Lum, dear! If you don't, you'll lose your right to rule our empire! LUM Then I renounce my claim to the throne! If I can't rule the universe with Darling, then I don't want to rule it! [Her father goes pale.] MR. ONI Lum, please, I beg you to reconsider. If you renounce your claim, the next ruler will be chosen by lottery from all eligible males! Lum, the next ruler of the Oni could be Rei! [Lum considers this. The scene ripple-fades to show what life would be like under the rule of Rei. Huge caravans bring all the food in the empire to the palace, where Rei continually shovels it in.] SERVANT 1 Where does he put it all? He's been eating night and day for a month! SERVANT 2 I don't know, but I'm starving. Isn't he going to leave any for anyone else? AIDE Your majesty, as much as I hate to interrupt your meal, the Imperial Armed Forces would like to know their orders. [Rei stops and holds up a food-stained sign with a picture of Earth on it. He points at it.] REI Conquer. AIDE [puzzled] But, your majesty, we've already tried to conquer this world once. Why bother trying again? REI Beefbowl. [Ripple-fade back to Lum, who swallows hard.] LUM I... I understand, father. MR. ONI There may be a way out for you and your Darling, however. LUM Really? Tell me! What is it?! MR. ONI Well, if your marriage to Moroboshi has been consummated, the council would accept that as a sign that you intend to make it official some day. They'd leave us alone, at least for awhile. MRS. ONI That's why your father asked if you were still a virgin. [Lum thinks for a moment.] LUM Well, uh... Well, of course Darling and I have consummated our marriage! Lots of times! Three times last night, as a matter of fact! MRS. ONI [blushing] My, what an energetic young man. MR. ONI That's wonderful! LUM Then I can stay with Darling? MR. ONI Of course! I'll send a Marriage Official over tomorrow to make out a Certificate of Consummation. LUM [puzzled] What? MRS. ONI Oh, don't worry Lum! It's a very simple test. You and Darling won't feel a thing! MR. ONI Goodbye, Lum! Thank you for putting your father at ease. LUM G-goodbye. [The screen goes blank.] Oh, no. What have I done? If I don't get Darling to make love to me before the official gets here... [Lum looks determined, and smacks a fist into her palm.] Well, then, I'll just have to get serious! Once an Oni-woman puts her mind to something, nothing can stop her! [Evening falls in Tomobiki-town as we look at the Moroboshi residence. A tired Ataru walks into his room.] ATARU Aaah, what a unsuccessful day. Not a single new name added to my book. Oh, well. Tomorrow is another day. LUM [purring] Good evening, Darling. [As Ataru takes a look at her, he freaks out. She is made-up and dressed in a frilly black lace teddy. She reclines on the futon and gives Ataru a sultry smile.] ATARU La-La-La-Lum?! What's going on? LUM What do you *think* is going on, silly Darling? Come, lie down with me. ATARU Lum, this is weird, even for you. LUM [getting mad] What's so weird about a wife wanting to sleep with her husband? ATARU Come here. LUM [delighted] Oh, Darling! [She closes her eyes and runs to him, her lips puckered for a kiss, but Ataru sticks a thermometer in her mouth instead.] Da'ing?! Wha's 'is for?! [Ataru pulls the thermometer out and reads it.] ATARU WAH! Forty degrees! No wonder you're delirious! I'll go get some ice! LUM That's my normal body temperature! ATARU Hmm. Then maybe you ate something funny, like some of your own cooking? LUM [really getting pissed] Oooooooooh! I am *not* sick! I just want to make love with my Darling! [She makes a grab for Ataru, who dodges.] I don't get it! You spend every waking moment of your life chasing girls, hoping to get even just a few seconds of action, but when I throw myself at you, you aren't even interested! Am I... am I not sexy enough? [Ataru turns his back on her and pontificates.] ATARU Hmph. It just shows how little you understand virulent young men such as myself. It's not enough simply to be *given* the attention of a beautiful, sexy woman! We live for the hunt, for the thrill of the chase! [Lum brightens up.] LUM A chase! I understand, Darling! [She grabs Ataru and flies out the window with him.] ATARU YAH! Lum, what are you doing?! Where are we going?! LUM We're going to have a chase! [Lum carries Ataru out to a nearby park and drops him on his butt, hovering a few feet above him.] ATARU OOF! LUM [gleefully] Chase me, Darling! ATARU Hmpf! And what makes you think I'll chase you? LUM 'Cuz I've got your little black book! [She displays her prize.] ATARU WAAH! Lum! Give it back! [Ataru chases a giggling Lum all over the park, jumping to catch her and falling on his face. Nearby, the noise wakes up Megane, who goes to the window, rubs his eyes and dons his glasses, getting a good look at Ataru chasing Lum in her nightie.] MEGANE Hmmm... [He removes his glasses and walks back to bed.] It is good for you that I am only dreaming, Moroboshi, for if I were not, I would be forced to commit unspeakable tortures upon your person. [He goes back to sleep.] ATARU Give it back! Give it back! LUM Haha! Catch me, Darling! [Ataru lunges for her and misses, falling painfully to the ground once more. A thought occurs to Lum.] Oh! I almost forgot! I have to let Darling catch me! [Lum flies closer to the ground, and when Ataru lunges again, she catches him and lands on her back with Ataru on top of her.] LUM [softly] Oh, Darling, you caught me. I'm yours. Please do whatever you want. [Exhausted, Ataru falls asleep and starts snoring.] (sigh) Darling, you're useless. [Wearing safety goggles, Lum works feverishly in a laboratory on her UFO, surrounded by vials of bubbling chemicals. Lum carefully adds a few drops of something to the test tube she holds in her hands, causing it to cough up a puff of smoke. Lum removes her goggles and grins.] LUM Ah! The most potent aphrodisiac in the galaxy. A few drops of this and Darling won't be able to keep his hands off me until he passes out! [Lum calls out:] Ten-chan! [Ten comes swimming around the corner.] TEN Lum-chan? LUM This is very important, so listen closely. I want you to take this and put it in Darling's jogging bottle. Be very careful not to spill any of it. [Ten salutes.] TEN Roger! [Cut to the Moroboshi's kitchen. Ten "swims" toward the refrigerator, opens the door, and searches.] TEN Ah-hah! [He pops the top off the jogging bottle and pours the drug into it.] I wonder what this stuff is? Hope it gives him hives... WAAH! [Ataru grabs the bottle and slams the refrigerator shut.] ATARU Another day, another babe! IKUZE! [A brief sequence follows where Ataru jogs to music around Tomobiki-town, smiling at girls and trying to chat them up, with his usual measure of success, which is to say, none. Not once does he use the jogging bottle. Ataru arrives home, winded but still upbeat.] ATARU Ah! Nothing like a good jog to get the heart beating. [He opens the refrigerator to find a blue Ten shivering inside.] Hm? Jariten? What are you doing in the--? [Cut to outside, as a tremendous burst of flame blows out a window, hurling Ataru outside.] ATARU AAAAH!! You little punk! [As Ten comes outside, Ataru throws the bottle at him, missing. The bottle flies through the air, caroms off a bird, bounces off a car, hits the roof of a house, rolls downhill from roof to roof, until finally hitting the ground, popping open, and emptying its contents into a large lake. A lake with a sign next to it... A sign that reads "TOMOBIKI RESERVOIR".] [EYECATCH : Ataru gets clobbered by the URUSEI YATSURA logo.] [A small spaceship lands in a park, frightening birds and some old people. A short, wrinkled, green lizard in a suit and glasses disembarks, carrying a briefcase. He removes an appointment book from his jacket pocket and flips through it.] OFFICIAL Hmm. Ataru and Lum Moroboshi. Let's see, this way. [In class, something is unusual. Everyone seems to have flushed complexions, Ataru, Mendo, and Lum among the notable exceptions. Lum looks at Ataru.] LUM (thought) Are you getting excited, Darling? Are you having naughty thoughts about me? [Ataru gives Lum an odd look. She giggles.] Look at him! He's probably trying to imagine me naked! Don't worry Darling, you'll soon find out! ATARU (thought) Uh-oh. Lum is definitely up to something. I'd better take a different route home. ONSEN-MARK Class dismissed. [As the pupils leave, several girls shyly approach Mendo.] GIRL #1 Mendo-san? Could you please meet with us outside? We have something to give to you. MENDO Certainly. Anything for such exquisite ladies. [The girls squeal with delight.] [Sakura closes up the infirmary for the day. As she opens the door, she finds a long line of male students waiting outside.] SAKURA I'm sorry, the infirmary is closed. BOY #1 But, but we're in agony! BOY #2 Yes! We might not be able to make it home! SAKURA (sigh) Oh, very well. I'll see the first in line. [As the first boy enters, he grins at his classmates and gives a "V" sign. Sakura closes the door.] SAKURA Okay, show me where it hurts. [The boy grins maniacally.] BOY #1 Well, it hurts here... [He grabs Sakura's butt.] ...and here... [He grabs her chest.] ...and it really hurts-- [WHAM! Sakura flattens him with a fist to the top of the head.] SAKURA SHOW ME ON *YOUR* BODY!! BOY #1 (in pain) Oh... Why didn't you say so... [He gets up.] I'll have to undress. SAKURA Very well. Just hurry up. [As he drops his pants, Sakura's expression changes to one of utter shock.] [Cut to outside. The door slams open, and the boy flies out, slamming into the wall.] SAKURA You PERVERT! BOY #1 She touched me... OTHER BOYS Me next! No me! [Sakura looks at the boys. They are all leering and drooling, and some kinda funky black aura swirls around their heads. Sakura quickly darts inside, slamming the door and leaning against it.] [Lum flies around, searching.] LUM Darling? Darling, where are you? Where is he? He should have been all over me right after school! Unless... [Lum becomes alarmed.] Oh no! Darling might be focusing his increased lust on other girls! I have to find him! [Mendo is surrounded by his adoring female fans outside the school. He opens a present, a muffler.] MENDO Ah! How lovely! I shall treasure it always. [He puts it around his neck. He is already wearing four mufflers, with three sweaters tied around his neck.] GIRL #1 Oooh! He likes mine best! He's wearing it on top! GIRL #2 That's just because he got yours last! MENDO Now, ladies. Please don't fight. Your presents are all lovely. It fills my heart with joy to receive such love. [to himself:] If I don't get these things off, I'm gonna get heatstroke... GIRL #3 Um... [Mendo turns to see a shy, blushing girl.] I'm sorry, I have no gift... [He places a hand on her shoulder.] MENDO Do not be upset. The affection of a lovely woman such as you is more gift than I could-- GIRL #3 So... I'll give you my body. [She begins to undress.] MENDO HUH?! Um, ah, please, I am truly flattered. But this is not the place. [He leans up close.] Why don't we have dinner first? GIRLS No, Mendo-san! Take my body! Mine! Take mine! [He turns around. The girls are all undressing.] MENDO Uh, heh-heh. Please, ladies, I must ask for restraint! Such adoration is too much for my humble soul to take. [He turns around and whips a cellular phone out of his jacket.] [quietly:] Shutaro to estate! I want the master bedroom ready in ten minutes! Now, ladies, may I-- [The girls are all stark naked.] Wah-wah-wee-woo-wuh... GIRLS MENDO-SAN! PLEASE! WE CAN'T WAIT! [They advance on him.] [Mendo looks at his watch.] MENDO AH! Look at the time! I'm late for kendo practice! Well, I must be off! Bye! [He runs.] GIRLS MENDO-SAAAAAAAN! [They run after him.] [The lizard continues his search for Lum and Ataru. Mendo runs by, chased by screaming naked girls.] OFFICIAL My! What a lively planet! I'll have to start taking my vacations here! [Lum flies near.] LUM Darling! DARLING!! OFFICIAL Ah! You must be Mrs. Moroboshi! LUM Huh? Oh, no! I wasn't expecting him so soon! OFFICIAL Where's your husband? I'm ready to administer the test. LUM Um, um, wait here. I'll get him! [She flies away.] Oh, please let me find Darling in time! [Sakura has barricaded herself inside the infirmary, blocking the door with every piece of furniture she can move. The boys hammer on the door.] BOYS Please let us in! We need relief from our pain! SAKURA Then go to a massage parlor! You're not getting any relief from me! BOYS Please, Sakura-sama! Have mercy! SAKURA What's going on? I've never seen behavior like this before! [Cherry's face fills the screen.] CHERRY 'Tis ominous! SAKURA YAAAAAAH! Don't DO that! I'm stressed out enough as it is! How did you get in here, anyway? My office is on the second floor! [Outside, the boys pick up one of their number and begin using his head as a battering ram.] BOYS FOR LUST!! (WHAM!) FOR LUST!! (WHAM!) FOR LUST!! (WHAM!) CHERRY Some evil force seems to have enhanced the sex drives of the young men. SAKURA I know that, you idiot! CHERRY However, I appear to be unaffected. [He flips her skirt up.] SAKURA What are you doing?! CHERRY Just making sure. I didn't feel a thing! [Sakura clobbers him, raising large bumps on his head.] Now *that*, I felt! [Mendo runs past Ataru. When Ataru sees what's chasing him, he quickly catches up.] ATARU What is this, Mendo?! Having all this fun and not letting your friends in on it? MENDO Since when am I your friend? ATARU Since you started hanging around nude babes! MENDO Fool! Does it look like I'm having fun?! If you want 'em, you can have 'em! ATARU REALLY?! Bless you, Mendo-sama! You're in my will! [He positions himself between Mendo and the girls.] BABES!! [They run him over, leaving little bare footprints all over his clothes and face.] Hee hee hee! Bliss! [Lum continues her search.] LUM Darling? DAAAAARRRRLING!! Oh, no! If I don't find him soon, we won't have time to do it before the official finds us! [Mendo finally loses the girls by hiding down an alley. He walks back out and looks around carefully, panting for breath. Shinobu is standing there.] SHINOBU Mendo-san! Are you okay? MENDO I'm fine. (huff huff) Are they gone? SHINOBU I think so. You poor thing. They were going to tear you apart. MENDO No, no. I merely did not want to break their hearts. I-- [Shinobu comes up close.] SHINOBU Of course, I understand how they feel. You're so manly and exciting. MENDO Sh-Shinobu... SHINOBU Let me come home with you, Mendo-san. I could make you so happy... [She begins to rub up against him.] [SMACK! Mendo slaps her. Shinobu raises a hand to her cheek, stunned.] MENDO Forgive me, dearest Shinobu, but you were becoming affected by this sexual madness. Now that you have calmed down, I'm sure we can procede with our relationship at a much more reasonable-- [Shinobu's expression slowly turns to rage.] Oh, no... [WHAM! Shinobu sends him into orbit. Instantly, she becomes calm again.] SHINOBU Ataru-kun. I wonder what Ataru-kun is doing. [Sakura remains under siege, with her uncle to annoy her. They both wear wash basins as combat helmets and stand ready with syringes tied to brooms.] SAKURA All is lost. I cannot leave, and the enemy will be upon me at any moment. There is nothing left, but for me to do the honorable thing. [She raises a scalpel to her throat.] CHERRY Yes. Much better to die that way. SAKURA Huh? CHERRY After all, at your age, your body couldn't possible take the attentions of that many virile men. [Sakura kicks him out the window.] [Outside, the door flings open. The boys cheer.] SAKURA Alright, boys! You want me? Come and get me! [The boys cheering fades when they get a look at her. She grins evilly and cracks her knuckles. The boys swallow and back away.] DAI KAMIKAZE! [She dives into them.] [Mendo falls back to Earth. Unfortunately, he chooses as his landing point the exact location of the sex-crazed girls. They stretch out their arms to catch him.] GIRLS MENDO-SAAAAAAAN! MENDO YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! [Shinobu catches up with Ataru.] SHINOBU Ataru-kun!! ATARU Shinobu! SHINOBU Walk me home? ATARU Uh, sure. SHINOBU You know, I've been thinking. You've always been so sweet in displaying your affection for me, and I've always been so rude. If you'll come home with me, I could, um... make it up to you... ATARU Um, sure. Yeah! SHINOBU Kiss me now. Please? ATARU [to himself:] Yes! At last!! [He prepares to kiss her.] [Still flying, Lum finally finds Ataru.] LUM DARLING!! ATARU Argh! Perfect timing, as always... [Shinobu grabs him.] SHINOBU Go away! I saw him first! LUM What?? SHINOBU Ataru-kun is going to take me home and make sweet love to me! So there! BEHHH!! [She pulls down an eyelid and sticks her tongue out.] [Lum looks at Ataru.] LUM Darling? [Ataru grins sheepishly and sweats bullets.] [Lum begins to shake with rage.] LUM Dar... ling... no... BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! [The lizard approaches.] OFFICER Ah! There you are. The test will only take a-- [Lum fries Ataru, Shinobu, and, by accident, the lizard.] LUM OH! OH NO!! I'm so sorry! [She flies down to him.] Are you okay? [The lizard grabs her hand and flips the briefcase open, revealing a device. He takes the near-unconscious Ataru's hand and places it and Lum's hand into two openings on the device.] [Lum starts to cry.] LUM Goodbye, Darling. I'm sorry. [The device spits out a sheet of paper. The lizard reads it.] OFFICIAL Good. Everything appears to be in order. Here's your copy. LUM Huh? OFFICIAL I'll send your father his copy, so you don't have to worry about a thing. I'll be on my way now. It's been a pleasure meeting the two of you. LUM (quietly) But how? [As the lizard closes the briefcase, it sputters and spits out smoke.] I must've shorted it out. [She giggles and cheers. Ataru grabs the certificate.] ATARU Eh? What's this? LUM It's a temporary marriage certificate! [Ataru looks at it, folds it into a paper airplane, and sends it flying.] LUM (angry) DARLING!! [Ataru runs away.] ATARU Hee hee! I'm free! I'm free! LUM DARLING! I won't forgive you for that! [She flies after him, trying to zap him.] [Megane strolls home. The paper airplane lands in his hand. He opens it. His eyes bug out, his hair stands on end, his jaw drops...] [The next day, in class. Most of the boys in class are wearing casts.] BOY #1 How'd you break your leg? BOY #2 No idea. Your arm? BOY #1 Dunno. [Mendo huddles in a corner, waving his sword frantically at any girl who comes near.] GIRL How strange. Mendo-san seems to be afraid of women. SHINOBU Say, Lum. Where's Ataru? LUM Oh, he's in the clock tower, playing with his friends. [Cut to a shot of the school building and slowly pull back.] MEGANE (voice) For the crime of deflowering Lum, you are to be tortured to death!! ATARU (voice) It's a lie! MEGANE (voice) Then explain this! ATARU (voice) I know nothing about it! Why would I want to have sex with Lum?! MEGANE (voice) WHAT??! You dare say such a thing! We'll torture you to death twice! ATARU (voice) No! I mean, of course I'd want to have sex with her! MEGANE (voice) Then you did do it! ATARU (voice) No, I mean... YYAAAAHHH!!!! [Fade, credits.] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whoa! Not bad, huh? Of course, I can see why they chose not to air the episode. It was a bit risque, even for UY. Another reason is that this has all been a big April Fool's joke. But then, you knew that, right? I mean, like, get real. :-) ---------- Ryan Mathews