The Toils of Kintaro
 by Lanin D. Thomasma (lanindt@juno.com)


Inaba hurried back to the park bench as quickly as he could manage with 
two ice cream cones in his hands.  He handed one to Shinobu and sat shyly 
next to her, puzzled as always by his feelings when with her.  How could 
he possibly feel so uneasy and so comfortable at the same time?  He 
glanced at her and decided, once again, to table the analysis for another 
day.

"It's lovely today, isn't it?"  Inaba asked hesitantly, and Shinobu was 
forced to stifle a smile.  It probably wasn't fair, but she couldn't help 
enjoying his nervousness on her account.  Of all the boys she knew, Inaba 
was the only one who reacted like this.  They may turn tongue-tied at Lum 
or Sakura - even Ran had her devoted followers.  But no one ever stammered 
for Shinobu.  With one exception.

"Yes," she said, turning a quick smile to Inaba, then looking up at the 
sky.  "I love days like this.  I used to call them 'cloud-picture days' 
when I was a little girl."

Inaba looked up, too.  "I see what you mean.  They do make pictures, don't 
they?"  He pointed at one.  "That looks kind of like a panda, doesn't it?"

"Yes, and there's a mother duck," Shinobu said, pointing out another 
cloud.  "With her ducklings trailing behind."

"Look at that low-flying dark cloud there," said Inaba with some 
excitement.  "What an odd-looking one.  It looks almost like Kintaro on a 
flying bear."

He turned to look at Shinobu, and found her staring at him. "What is it?" 
he asked.  "Did I say something wrong?"

She held her gaze for a moment, just to be certain he wasn't joking.  "No, 
no," she said, shaking her head and trying to regain the lightness of the 
moment.  "It's nothing."  She looked back at the dark form in the 
distance.  "I just keep forgetting that you don't spend a lot of time 
around here," she murmured.

*   *   *

"Hey, heads up down there!"

Kintaro's voice wafted down from where he was passing by, riding his 
flying bear companion.  Unfortunately, it would have been better if he'd 
said it before, not after, his axe had landed blunt-end on Ataru's head.

"#@&&*!!  What in the world do you think you're doing?" Ataru shouted, 
holding his head and trying to see through the sudden explosions of color.

"Take it easy.  It's not as though I was aiming at you," Kintaro said.  
He hopped off the bear and snatched up his axe, inspecting it carefully.  
"At least you didn't damage it.  Can't find a scratch on it."

"Can't find a - What about my head?" Ataru said, still trying to feel out 
just how big the inevitable lump would be.

"Well, you're walking, aren't you?" Kintaro replied calmly.  "Say, you're 
Lum's idiot husband, aren't you?  Maybe you could help me."

With such a rapid fire of insults, Ataru didn't quite know which comment 
to respond to first.  He finally chose the last.  "Help you do what?  And 
it's no use robbing me.  I'm broke."  It was true enough.  Lum had caught 
him flirting the evening before, and although he'd succeeded in dodging 
her 'divine retribution', the resulting damage to the beefbowl had taken 
all of this savings to cover.  "I've got to remember to stick to parks and 
vacant lots from now on," he muttered to himself.

Kintaro wasn't listening.  "Don't worry about that," he said cheerfully.  
"I've given up robbery for the time being.  Doesn't seem much point in it, 
anyway.  I've always got to give it out again.  Besides, it wasn't the 
kind of exemplary life I was looking for.  No, I want to be more of a 
heroic figure - someone to look up to.  Not like that idiot I seem to be 
named after.  A real hero, you know."

"So, be a hero for all I care," Ataru grumbled, starting to walk away.  
"You don't need my help.  Just don't be one where you're going to drop 
things on me!"

"But I do need your help!" Kintaro said, hurrying after Ataru.  "I've 
thought of all the heroes I could, but I can't think of one that would be 
just right."

"Well, what about Musashi?" Ataru suggested, in spite of himself.

"I thought of him first," said Kintaro irritably.  "It's just that wooden 
sword thing..."  He fingered to blade of his axe hesitantly.  "It's... 
well... you know, it's just not... me."

"Well, how about -"

"It's no good!" Kintaro blurted out.  "I've thought of all the Japanese 
heroes I could.  There's not one of them that'll do."

"So what do you want from me?" Ataru asked, puzzled by the sudden outburst.

Kintaro began pacing thoughtfully.  "I've run out of Japanese heroes.  So 
it seems to me there's nothing more to do than to look abroad."  He 
stopped his pacing, and squared off face to face with Ataru.  "You've got 
to help me find some western heroes."

"What?"  Ataru said, staring at the serious little figure in front of 
him.  "Western heroes?  What makes you think I know of any?  What do I 
look like?"  He saw that Kintaro was about to answer, and quickly said, 
"No, never mind.  Look, I don't know anything about western heroes.  Why 
don't you look up that jerk that keeps chasing Sakura... uh.. Tsubame, 
that's his name."

"Oh, you mean that fellow that changed you into Santa Claus one time?  Ten 
told me that Lum told him how he -"

"Never mind!" Ataru said quickly.  "Forget him.  And don't bother asking 
Cherry, either.  Something tells me I'd only get dragged along for the 
ride, and I don't need that."

Just then he heard two familiar voices, accompanied by an all too familiar 
trill.

"Daaaaar-liiiiing!"

"Hey, iiiiiiidiooooooot!"

Ataru saw his chance.  "Hey, Jariten is a good friend of yours!  I'm sure 
he'd be happy to help."  He shouted out to Lum and Ten.  "Hey!  Over here!  
Look who's here, Ten-chan!  Your good pal Kintaro.  And he needs your 
help.  Why don't you tell him what you need, Kintaro?"  Ataru had gotten 
himself too worked up by this time to let Kintaro speak.  "He wants to 
find a hero to emulate.  Think of that.  And he's run out of Japanese 
heroes.  Whaddaya say?  You know of any good heroes?  Why don't you two 
help him look, and I'll just get out of your way?"

Kintaro looked at Ten.  "Does he really expect me to fall for that?"

Ten shook his head sadly.  "No.  It's just a sad lack of subtlety, 
that's all."

"Hold on there, you!"  Kintaro shouted.  By this time, Ataru was half a 
block away, but he stopped, fearing that Kintaro would do more than just 
drop his axe this time.  Kintaro trotted over to Ataru.  "I didn't ask 
Ten, I asked you.  Now don't try to wheedle your way out of this.  I'm 
serious."

"Look, I don't know any western heroes!" Ataru said in annoyance.  
"Besides, why should I help you?  What's in it for me?  Give me one good 
reason why I should help you at all?"

"Well..."  Kintaro looked over his shoulder, to judge whether Lum and Ten 
were out of earshot.  He decided they were.  "I do know this red-haired 
kindergarten teacher..."

Suddenly Ataru was all ears.  He dropped down on one knee and lowered his 
voice to a whisper.

"You mean you'd fix me up with that gorgeous creature who teaches your 
school?"

"Well..."  Kintaro looked away.  "It's against my better judgement, but I 
could really use the help.  I suppose if I fix you up, what you do after 
that is your responsiblity."  He turned back.  "Okay. Yes.  Is it a deal?"

"You got it!"  Ataru said, shaking Kintaro's hand vigorously.  Then, with 
Kintaro still in hand, he strode quickly past Lum and Ten.  "Well, we've 
got some work to do, so we'll have to say goodbye.  Bye, Lum-chan.  Bye, 
Ten-chan.  We're off to find some heroes."

"You know,"  Lum said brightly as Ataru walked past.  "If you're looking 
for a hero, you might try Rashii of Oniboshi."

Kintaro pulled Ataru to a stop.  "Who's that?  Rashii of Oniboshi?"

"Oh yes, Rashii is our greatest hero.  Why, his story is famous on our 
planet."  Lum's eyes danced as she envisioned the story once again.  "One 
of the greatest minds of his time.  One day, while trying to develop a 
superior recipe for hot mustard, he accidentally exploded our third moon, 
causing a meteor shower that very nearly wiped out an entire continent on 
our planet!"

Kintaro and Ataru stared in awe.  "What happened then?" Kintaro asked.

Lum looked down, puzzled.  "Nothing," she said.  "That's the whole story."

Ataru stared, mouth agape.  "That's IT?" he said.  "What kind of a hero is 
that?  Blowing up a moon?  Trashing an entire continent?  For a confounded 
MUSTARD RECIPE?  And that's your greatest hero?  I don't believe this!"  
He grabbed Kintaro by the hand once again.  "Come on, Kintaro, let's go.  
We've got some research to do!"

As the two of them stalked off, Ten looked at Lum.  "You know, quite 
honestly, I've never understood that story, either," he said.

*   *   *

Kintaro and Ataru had been in the library the last three hours.  Although 
both Ten and Lum had followed, the latter found herself having trouble 
focussing on the subject a hand.  "I never realized Darling was so 
interested in world history," she remarked to Ten, forgetting that he had 
long since fallen asleep.  "If only Onsen-mark Sensei could see him now.  
How proud he would be."

"Okay, let's see," Ataru placed one more book on an already towering 
stack.  "We've been through all 1001 Arabian Nights, Beowulf and the Epic 
of Gilgamesh.  And so far, nothing seems to speak to you."  He flipped 
through some pages.  "Okay, here.  American hero.  Davey Crockett.  Sounds 
promising, huh?"

"These western names," Kintaro said in frustration.  "Davey Crockett?"  He 
sighed.  "All right, what's he known for?  What did he do?"

"Well, let's see..."  Ataru began to read aloud.  "Born on a mountaintop 
in Tennessee... greenest state in the Land of the Free... raised in the 
woods so he knew every tree... killed him a bear-"

"NANI??!!" Kintaro blurted out, waking both Ten and Lum.  "Are you out of 
your mind?  Some of my best friends are bears!"

"Let's have some quiet over there!" shouted a small fish-faced figure at a 
nearby table.

"Sorry!" Ataru whispered to the room in general, pausing to wave weakly to 
the librarian's murderous glare.  "All right, calm down," he whispered to 
Kintaro.  "Davey Crockett is out.  Let's see..."

"What book are you looking at?" Ten said, yawning and shaking the last 
bits of sleep out of his eyes.

"American tall tales." Ataru said absently.  "How's this?  John Henry.  It 
says here he drilled right through a mountain, faster than a steam drill-"

"-and then dropped dead." said Ten, looking over his shoulder.

"I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOUR HELP!" Ataru snapped at Ten.  A forceful 
clearing of the same librarian's throat brought him up short, and he 
winced out of habit.  "Here," he said more quietly to Ten.  "If you want 
to help, pick up a book and start looking."

"Hmmph!" Ten snorted.  "You're just lucky I'm so good-natured."  He 
flipped through the book Ataru had given him.  "Hey, here's one.  Ever 
hear of Ulysses?"

Kintaro glanced around at the books in front of him.  "I already read 
about him.  Greek guy in a boat, right?"

"That's him."

"Did you see the size of his crew?" Kintaro said with a frustrated look.  
"I'd have to keep robbing people to pay them all."

"How about this one."  Ataru grabbed another book at random.  "He's got an 
axe, just like you.  What do you think?"

"He looks awful big," Kintaro said dubiously.

"So?  Something to grow into, right?" Ataru said cheerfully.  "This says 
he cut down trees.  That seems all right.  No harm in that, is there?"  He 
muttered under his breath,  "At least not to me."

"There's something... something..."  Kintaro studied the picture carefully 
for a few moments.  Then he leaped to his feet.  "I've got it!" he 
shouted, and dashed out the door.

"WAIT!" Ataru shouted after him.  "Where are you going?"  He was still 
watching him go when he felt a tap on his shoulder.  One second later, he 
was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Lum watched the prim retreating form of the librarian.  "I wonder how she 
managed to hit Darling with that Unabridged Dictionary, without making a 
single sound."

"Professional training," said Ten in a hushed tone.

*   *   *

"You didn't see which direction he went?"  Ataru asked as they came out of 
the library.  He was leaning on Lum for support and delicately feeling the 
back of his head.  Hard experience -and one obnoxious buck-toothed demon- 
had taught him not to try to look back there.

"I was much more concerned with you, Darling," Lum answered.  She was 
trying to snuggle closer to Ataru, but it only seemed to interfere with 
his walking.  "He certainly was in a hurry, though."  She turned to Ataru 
with an odd look on her face.  "You know, Darling, I'm happy to see you 
taking such an interest in Kintaro's development.  But it's not really 
like you.  I thought you didn't like him."

"Ah... yes... well..." Ataru stammered, thinking quickly despite the pain.  
"I think he should... have a good start.  After all, why shouldn't I take 
an interest in the world's future generation?"  

He finished with a grin, mentally patting himself on the back for his 
quick recovery.  Lum gave him a not-quite-convinced look, but before she 
could speak, Ten interrupted.

"Say, idiot," said Ten, holding the book Kintaro had dropped.  "Is this 
the picture you were showing Kintaro?"

Ataru took the book and looked at the picture.  "Yeah, that's him."

"What's that next to him?"  Ten floated up to look over Ataru's shoulder.

Ataru read with difficulty the English caption beneath the illustration.  
"Paul Bunyan and his giant blue ox, Babe."

"MOROBOSHI!" a voice thundered out.  The three of them looked up to see 
Shutaro Mendo, sword in hand, striding towards them.  Despite his obvious 
agitation, he addressed himself first to Lum, in a controlled and graceful 
manner.

"Please excuse this interruption.  It pains me to do so, but I must speak 
to this...this..."  He closed his eyes and trembled under his exertion of 
control.  "In any case, you must excuse me."  He then turned a baleful 
glare on Ataru, and his right hand began to inch toward his katana.  
"Moroboshi, I have often thought you to be an ignorant, disgusting, 
uncouth, lecherous wretch.  But I would never in any stretch of the 
imagination have thought you capable of something as insulting as this."

Ataru stared at Mendo, his face slowly losing color.  "Can I sit down for 
this?" he said weakly.

"Not another word!" Mendo snapped.  He closed his eyes a moment and took a 
few deep breaths.  "You may recall, Moroboshi, that the last time my 
mother lost one of her prize white bulls-"  Here he turned once more to 
Lum with a respectful bow.  "Due to an obviously mistaken, but gracious 
and well-intentioned gesture on the part of your most revered and 
esteemed mother..."  He turned back to Ataru.  "My mother very nearly 
launched World War III over that bull.  What do you think she'll do when 
she finds another one missing?"

Ataru's knees began to give way.  "Another... one?"  he asked bleakly.

Just then they heard Kintaro's voice behind them.  "Hey, what do you 
think?"

They all turned to see an amazing sight.  Kintaro was dressed in plaid, 
with a knit cap on his head.  And beneath him, looking vaguely puzzled, 
was Mrs. Mendo's missing bull, no longer its natural shade of white, but a 
pleasant sky blue.

"Pretty good, eh?" Kintaro said proudly.  "It took a while to figure out 
how to dye him the right color, but he doesn't look bad, does he?"

Mendo stared in horror.  His dazed voice began to build in energy as he 
spoke.  "This... is too much," he said.  "To steal an animal of such 
impeccable breeding is bad enough, but to take such an animal... and dye 
it... BLUE!"  He whirled and faced Ataru, his katana singing as it leapt 
from its scabbard.  "Moroboshi, you've gone too far this time.  Prepare to 
meet your death with honor."

"ME?" Ataru gasped.  "Whaddaya mean?  I didn't do it!  I had nothing to do 
with it!  It wasn't even my idea!"

"Well, technically, it was, you know," Ten remarked conversationally.  
"You were the one who showed him the picture and suggested-"

"URUSAI!" Ataru hissed, but too late.  With a yell, Mendo lunged, his 
blade narrowly missing Ataru as he sprang aside.  With that, they were 
off, Ataru just inches out of Mendo's reach, and Lum following close 
behind, encouraging Ataru with shouts of "Don't slow down, Darling!"

"What she sees in him, I'll never know," said Ten, shaking his head.

"Back to the drawing board," said Kintaro grimly.

*   *   *

"Well there you are," said Kintaro as Ataru staggered back in exhaustion, 
collapsing in a heap at Kintaro's feet.  "I was thinking you'd leave us to 
do this all alone."  He tossed Ataru a book.  "See what you can find in 
this," he ordered.

"Leave... me... alone,"  Ataru's voice emerged from beneath the book.  He 
didn't have the strength to catch it.  It just lay open on his head.

Ten glanced up from his book and shook his head.  "The fool thinks he can 
read a book by osmosis."

"You look tired," Kintaro observed blandly.  "That's a shame, it is.  
Teacher says she likes a lot of stamina in her men..."

The mention of Kintaro's kindergarten teacher worked like an electric 
shock through Ataru.  Instantly he was on his feet, so engrossed in 
studying the book Kintaro had given him that he failed to notice he was 
holding it upside down.

The sound of footsteps caught their attention, and they looked up to see 
Sakura approaching.  "Well, well, here's a fine study group, I must say," 
she said in amusement.

"Sakura-san!"  Ten leapt up in excitement, tossing his book strategically 
into Ataru's jaw.  Ataru dropped instantly.  "We're studying western 
heroes.  Maybe you'd like to join us?"

"Western heroes?"  Sakura raised an eyebrow.  "Well, I suppose.  I think 
our Japanese culture offers plenty of exemplary lives to aspire to."  She 
chuckled to herself.  "But I suppose there's much to be said for 
broadening one's horizons as well."

"The problem I have," Kintaro said in a serious mein.  "Is that so many of 
these stories are so depressing!  Like the fellow I'm supposed to be named 
for.  Look at the kind of life he led.  In the end he was no better than a 
hired servant.  Just another cog in the machine."  He held up the book he 
was holding.  "Now look at this guy.  Sir Lancelot.  The best knight in 
the world.  Now that's someone to look up to."

"Actually," Sakura replied blandly.  "His son Galahad was the best knight, 
according to the story.  And Lancelot was a servant, too, in a way.  He 
was one of King Arthur's henchmen.  A noble group, true, but not really 
much different than the samurai of our past."  She idly picked up a book, 
interested in spite of herself.  "It seems to me that you're looking for 
something more... well... independent than that."

"Do you have a favorite western hero, Sakura-san?"  Ten asked innocently, 
hovering closely to her.  

Sakura smiled at him.  "Oh, yes, I do.  Aesculapius, the greatest 
physician of ancient Greece.  His medical skills were legendary.  It's 
said that he once even brought someone back from the dead."

"You could bring me back from the dead," said Ataru, now recovered and 
intent on making up for lost time.  Ten moved deftly aside as Ataru 
recoiled from Sakura's uppercut.

"As if I'd ever waste my time resurrecting a lecher like you!" Sakura 
growled in exasperation.  "Besides, I wouldn't have to.  Unfortunately for 
us all, you're not dead."

"A condition we can remedy, if you keep it up," Ten muttered through 
clenched teeth.

Ataru hunched down and grabbed another book.  "You people have no 
understanding of the needs of a viril young man."

"Darling!  Thank goodness you're safe!" Lum called as she hurried to 
Ataru's side.  "It took me nearly three ZAAKKS to slow Shutaro down."  She 
bit her lip anxiously.  "I'm sure he'll come to before long."  She turned 
to look curiously at the book Ataru was holding.  "Darling, why are you 
reading the Christian Bible?"

"What?"  Ataru dropped the book suddenly.  He'd been too distracted by 
Sakura to look at the title.  Noting Lum's searching look, he struggled to 
cover himself.  "Oh, yes... the Christian Bible.  Well..."  An idea struck 
him.  "I'm... helping... Cherry.  Yes, that's it.  Cherry... asked me 
to... look something up for him."

"Why would I want you to do that?" said a voice behind him, making him 
jump in alarm.

"STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT!"  Ataru shouted.  He reached for the 
Bible to use on Cherry, but Kintaro had already snatched it up.

"Say, take a look at this,"  said Kintaro.  The book had opened to the 
illustration of man in the desert, locking in mortal combat with a 
ferocious lion.  "Who do you suppose this is?"

"Samson," said Cherry.  The others stopped and stared at him.  

"Well, Uncle," Sakura said incisively.  "I wouldn't have expected you to 
be an authority on this particular book."

He looked at his niece defensively.  "I've read something of western 
religion.  It's part of my priestly training."

"If you're so studious, why are you having a high school student doing 
your research for you?" Sakura asked derisively.

Cherry drew himself up indignantly.  "What an implication.  That I would 
stoop to having this benighted youngster look up something I can easily 
look up myself."

"It's not my implication, it's his," Sakura replied, her voice heating up.  
"And besides, you never object to others doing your cooking!  Why should 
you scruple at someone doing your reading for you?"

"I am injured by such a base accusation!"  Cherry's voice rose to match 
his niece's.  "I"ll have you know that my days are spent in deep 
contemplation of-"

"Utter quackery!" Sakura cut in furiously.  "Why, if it were not for my 
powers, these poor people would be up to their ears in foul spirits.  Need 
I point out that -"

"Excuse me, but could we get back to business here?" said Kintaro, cutting 
in.  He looked back at the picture.  "Tell me about this Samsung guy.  Why 
is he named after an electronics company?"

"Not Samsung- Samson," Cherry said impatiently.  "An ancient Jewish hero.  
He was tremendously strong, never had a haircut, and yes, he killed a lion 
bare-handed."

"They say his strength was in his hair," said Sakura, fuming.  "Assuming 
that's true, Uncle, what does that say of you?"

"Never mind that," Kintaro said quickly, trying to forestall another 
argument.  "I think I have an idea.  All I need is..."  His voice trailed 
off and his eyes lit up with an odd glint.  "I've got it!" he shouted.  
"Gangway!"  And with that he was off down the street, past the retreating 
figure of Cherry.

"Now what?"  said Ataru wearily.

"Moroboshi!" Cherry said, watching Kintaro with growing concern.  "I'm 
afraid your little friend is headed in a most inauspicious direction."

"Darling," Lum said hesitantly.  "Do you think we should go after him?"

"Naw," Ataru said after a moment.  "What trouble can he get into, anyway?  
After all, there aren't any lions in Tomobiki."

"That's right," Lum agreed.  "No lions in Tomobiki."

"Nor tigers."

"That's right.  No tigers," said Lum, nodding.  "Apart from Rei, of 
course.

"That's right," Ataru agreed. "Apart from Rei."

Lum and Ataru stared at one another in horror.

"REI!"

*   *   *

Kintaro found Rei in a place that had become normal for him - in the park, 
being fed by a doting Ran.  He was in luck.  Ran had taken pains to 
provide her usual assortment of salads, casseroles, meats, breads and 
confections, each one bolstered to at least five times its normal calorie 
content through Ran's cooking expertise.  The result was a feast that 
would've daunted anyone from Billy Barty to Akebono (with the exception, 
of course, of Sakura).  Rei was polishing it off with relish (about a 
gallon of it), as Ran pulled course after course from a deceptively small 
picnic basket in front of her.  He was already well into the meal, as 
evidenced by the fact that he had assumed his tiger/bull shape, and he had 
progressed well past the point of being able to change back.  Ran was 
purring contentedly, secure in the knowledge that she had at last found 
her way past Rei's stomach and into his heart.

"I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself, Rei," said Ran sweetly as Kintaro 
approached them.  "It's so good to know you're finally getting a hearty 
meal."  She blushed as Rei grabbed her hand and kissed it -with 
difficulty- on the spot she had carefully buttered only moments before.

"Yum," said Rei, careful as always not to talk with his mouth full.

If he had taken the time, Kintaro might have wondered just how Ran was 
able to carry such a huge feast in such a small container.  The secret was 
a portable matter-transfer device that Ran had rigged to act as a sort of 
long-distance dumbwaiter.  As a result, she was able to tap into her 
kitchen at home, and provide each perfectly-prepared course right at the 
proper time.

Kintaro placed himself in front of Rei and squared his shoulders as Ran 
drew a large platter of salmon rolls from her basket.  Ignoring her 
querilous look, Kintaro fixed Rei with a fierce glare and shouted,  
"ALL RIGHT!  You and me!  Here and now!" 

Ran smiled expansively at Kintaro as she pulled out a tray of musubi and a 
large bowl of potato salad.  "Hello, little man," she trilled, shaking her 
head to catch the sunlight in her bright red hair.  "Are you hungry?  I 
can't really spare much, but..."  She reached into the basket again and 
held up a plate of beancakes.  "I think one of these would be okay.  
Would'ms like that, hmmmmm?"

Kintaro found himself disconcerted by the sickening tone of Ran's voice.  
After staring at her a moment, he shook his head slightly and said, 
"Uh... no, thank you."  Remembering his original plan, he continued.  "No, 
I'm just here to kill that hideous beast next to you.  Then I'll be on my 
way.  If you could stand back, please?"

Puzzled, Ran looked down at Kintaro, then up at Rei.  She looked back at 
Kintaro blankly, then dissolved in tinkling fit of giggles.  "I'm sorry, 
young man," she said, recovering her composure.  "You must be assuming 
that I'm in some sort of danger here."  She tilted her head coquettishly, 
and smiled a sparkling smile.  "That's very sweet of you, but I assure 
you, he's quite harmless.  Now, if there's nothing else I can do for you, 
I'm falling behind here.  Run along now, there's a good lad."  Turning to 
her task, she reached once more into her basket, this time pulling a 
platter of kebabs and a sizeable chocolate-sauerkraut cake.

Kintaro looked around, at a loss for a moment.  This wasn't going exactly 
as planned.  He looked back at tableau before him, and for the first time, 
he noticed the picnic hamper.  Suddenly his eyes narrowed, and a 
calculating look came over his face.

*   *   *

"Do you see anything yet?" Ataru called to Lum.  The two of them were 
nearing the park, Lum flying at treetop level, and keeping watch for any 
sign of activity.

"Not yet, Darling," Lum called out.  She returned to Ataru's side.  "I'm 
certain they're here, though."  With that, she took off again.  She was 
too concerned for Kintaro to notice that she was flying a little too 
quickly for Ataru to keep up.  Ataru, for his part, tried to keep his 
spirits up by reminding himself of his original motivation. 

"Red... head... red... head..." he muttered between breaths.

"Darling, what are you saying?"  Lum asked, dipping back to Ataru's head 
level.

Ataru faltered a bit, thinking quickly.  "Red... uh... head.  Red-head.  
You know, as in Ran.  You yourself agreed that we'd be likely to find the 
two of them together."  More's the pity, he thought to himself.

"Darling,"  Lum said seriously as she touched ground next to him at the 
entrance to the park.  "I'm really beginning to worry about you.  You're 
talking to yourself, and this project of Kintaro's seems to be taking far 
too much of your attention.  Are you sure you're telling me..."  Her voice 
faltered as she noticed that Ataru didn't seem to be listening to her.  
"Darling!  You see what I mean?  You're white as a sheet.  Why won't you 
tell me what's the matter?"

Ataru didn't answer right away.  He was staring at a cloud of dust, 
rapidly approaching them.  "Lum... " he began, pointing towards the cloud, 
but he never got any further.

As Lum turned to look, the figure of Kintaro materialized out of the 
cloud.  "Gangway!" he shouted as he dashed past them.  As he passed, Ataru 
caught sight of the picnic basket clasped firmly in his hand.

Lum and Ataru turned back to see where he had come, and their eyes widened 
in terror.  Bearing down on them, horns lowered, was an enraged Rei.  
Instinctively, Lum shot into the air, just as Rei thundered past with a 
deafening "RYAAAAAAGGHHHHH!"

A second later, Lum remembered that she should have taken Ataru with her.

Frantically, she dropped back to the ground, kneeling by Ataru's crumpled 
form.  "Darling?" she said weakly, just as Ran arrived on the scene.  
Ran's eyes narrowed as she recognized Lum.

"Lum!  I might have known!"  Her face dissolved into tears, and her knees 
buckled slightly.  "How could you!  Everything was going so well.  Why 
can't you leave us in peace?"  Her body suddenly galvanized, and she 
pointed forcefully at Lum, her face twisting into a venomous grimace.  "I 
hold you personally responsible for this, Lum.  I'll never rest until I 
pay you back, measure for measure!"  Then, just as suddenly, her eyes 
filled with an open anxiety.  "Oh, dear," she said, and dashed off lightly 
after Rei, calling daintily,  "Rei!  Rei, dear!  Wait for meeeee!"

Lum stared blankly, overwhelmed by Ran's masterful performance.  
"Darling," she said musingly, forgetting for a moment the state Ataru was 
in.  "I really think that girl needs some serious assistance."

"The poor dear," Ataru mumbled into the ground before him.

*   *   *

"Easy, Darling.  You're almost home."

It was no use.  His energy spent, Ataru slowly collapsed on the sidewalk 
outside his home.  Lum did her best to ease him down, cradling his head in 
her lap.  "There, there, Darling," she said, running her hand gently 
through his hair and doing her best to hide the worry in her voice.  
"That's all right.  Rest a bit.  Then we'll get you inside and into bed."

"My goodness, what happened to you now, Ataru?" Mrs. Moroboshi cried as 
she hurried out of the house.  Ataru looked up vaguely.

"Mother, is that you?" he asked in a weak voice.

"You poor boy, you're a mess," she said, looking him over closely.  
"Whatever it was, it's just like you to get yourself into something like 
this."  She glanced around and leaned in to whisper to him.  "Couldn't you 
at least have gotten into the house before collapsing?  What will the 
neighbors think to see you lying on the street like this?"  Now visibly 
upset, she stood and walked quickly back into the house.  "I never should 
have had him," was the last thing they heard her say as the door closed.

Ataru and Lum were still staring at the closed door when Ten came floating 
down the street towards them.  "There you are!"  he said.  "Boy, did you 
miss some fun!  Rei chased Kintaro right through the market district.  Not 
only did he trample nearly every shop, but he cleaned out just about every 
food stand, without even breaking his stride!"  He shook his head with 
admiration.  "He may not have a brain, but you've got to admire his 
agility."

"What happened to Kintaro?"  Lum asked in spite of herself.

"I'm fine!" sounded a voice above them.  It was Kintaro, astride the bear 
once more.  "I lost hold of the basket, and it stopped him in his tracks.  
But never mind that."  He held up a book triumphantly.  "I've found 
someone!  His name's Hercules.  You should hear about this fellow.  He did 
everything!"

"And he's not too hard to pronounce," Ten added encouragingly.

"Well, I'd like to stay and chat, but I can't," Kintaro said cheerfully.  
"I've got to find a three-headed dog, and a few odd monsters, and a stable 
that needs cleaning."  He stopped in mid-thought.  "Ten, doesn't your 
mother handle a lot of water?"

"Um-" Ten stammered, his face losing color.

"NANI?"  Ataru shot up to his feet, toppling Lum, who was still trying to 
hold him.  "You mean you're leaving?!  After everything I've done for 
you?!  What about our deal?!  You promised me a date with your teacher!!  
You can't back out now!!  I WANT MY DATE!!!"

"Oh yeah," Kintaro said.  "Your date.  Well, you see, Teacher's not really 
in town right now.  And I think her calendar's pretty full.  But tell you 
what.  Next time I'm in the neighborhood, I'll see what I can do."  He 
waved cheerily to Ten, and started off.  "So long, Ten-chan!  Bye, Lum.  
See you, idiot!"

Ataru took a few steps after him, weakly crying,  "No!  My date!  Come 
back here!"  He stopped, watching boy and bear disappear in the distance.  
Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice behind him, accompanied by a familiar 
electric crackle.

"Darling," said the voice, deceptively calm.  "What do you mean, 'I want 
my date'?"

Ataru turned and resigned himself to the inevitable.

*   *   *

Inaba breathed the twilight air deeply, hoping to prolong the moment.  "I 
had a wonderful day," he said to Shinobu.  They were back on the same park 
bench.  "I hope you did, too."

Shinobu looked up as the first stars began to appear.  "I did.  In spite 
of everything, I did."

"I see now what you meant earlier," Inaba said conversationally.  "About 
my not being here often, I mean.  There's certainly a lot that goes on 
here, isn't there?"  He looked around in wonder.  "Imagine, a wild animal 
stampede right here in Tomobiki."  His faced took on a puzzled look.  
"What odd animals, too.  I don't think I've ever seen a bull in that shade 
before.  And look!"  He pointed towards the horizon, which was presently 
being lit up with arcs of blue/white light.  "Someone's setting off 
fireworks now.  Does that happen often, too?"

Shinobu sighed, knowing from long experience the source of the brilliant 
flashes.  She sighed again more deeply, and leaned her head on Inaba's 
shoulder, inadvertantly causing some sparks of her own.  "Yes," she said 
wearily.  "It happens often.  But you get used to it."

THE END