ekouba@rmii.com (Eric Kouba) This is a bit of Urusei Yatsura fanfic I started a few years ago. I recently found it again buried in my archives and thought now would be a good time to revive it. All of the characters are as authentic as I could make them, except for Sugoi (who was created by the Unchallengeable Master of Yatsura Fanfic himself... Fred Lee Cain). For those of you who don't know Sugoi, she is Rei's little sister, looks like a younger version of Lum, and has a HUGE crush on Megane (poetic justice, indeed). But don't worry, she doesn't show up much. **************************************************************** KAZE NO TANI NO LUM A masked figure rides through a field of spores. Wearing a cloak emblazoned with a stylized mark, the figure comes across a motley collection of buildings that have been engulfed by the spores. Opening up one of the doors, the figure sees the inside of a traditional Japanese high school classroom, except it is covered with phosphorescent spores and fungus. Off in one corner, a fungus covered body sits at a tea table: it is dressed in a business suit and has a thin layer of white hair around the edges of an otherwise bald head. The masked figure then speaks, "Another school destroyed." The man quickly rides away from the dead village. Roll movie soundtrack and opening credits. The jungle insects look short, squat, and vaguely humanoid. The angel has green hair and is dressed in tigerstripes. High in the sky, a masked girl in a tigerstripe bikini flies over the jungle. With long green hair waving in the breeze, she cavorts about with a quick series of aerial acrobatics. Flying to the edge of the jungle, she floats in. She sees many strange sights: talking red flowers, very fat swallows waddling around on the ground, five meter tall fish-headed aliens, and many other sights that are convincing evidence of the girl's courage to enter so dangerous a place. But her confidence is easy to see: she moves as if the entire area is her own personal garden. Noticing something unusual, she speaks, "These are teeth marks of a Cherry-Worm. There's never been one in this area before." Running ahead, she sees a huge chitinous exoskeleton of a Cherry-Worm, twenty meters tall or more. Climbing up to the top, she finds a huge lump on the skull, one meter in diameter. Cherry-Worm skulls are well known to be the hardest substance in the world, so she slowly starts blasting and cutting one lump free to take home as a piece of armor. Just as she finishes, she senses something. Then she hears an explosion. She sprints inside a small cave and climbs up. Reaching the top, she looks out over the jungle. The external view shows she has climbed up inside the skeleton of a huge Bull Tiger to get a view out the eye sockets. Another explosion draws her attention. Looking through a miniature oni viewfinder, she sees a Cherry-Worm rear up through the jungle with flaming red eyes before crashing back down. She shoots a bolt of blue electricity through the air as a signal, and a smoke flare rises up in response. Jumping into the air and flying towards a trail of explosions, she reaches the edge of the jungle and sees a cloaked and masked figure riding out at full speed. Just then, the Cherry-Worm breaks out of the jungle too, moving like an inchworm on its belly. Since the Cherry-Worm is twenty meters tall and fifty meters long or more, it still moves at a breakneck speed. Zapping it with a bolt of electricity, the flying girl knocks the Cherry-Worm unconscious. She waits a few minutes while still flying around, pulls out a bag of red, star-shaped cookies, and waves them in front of the Cherry-Worm. Waking up, the Cherry-Worm sees the cookies and starts to follow the flying girl back into the jungle. Later, the cloaked man is standing by a wind trap as the flying girl arrives. She lands daintily next to the man and says, "Welcome back, Onsen-sensei." "Lum-chan! I thought so. I've been saved by one of my own students." In Onsenmark's pouch, something moves. Looking closer, a green-haired boy with a tigerstripe diaper pops out and promptly flames Onsenmark. Lum is surprised and says "Ten! What are you doing here? You told me you were going to the candy store!" Before Ten can defend himself, Onsenmark breaks in, "I found him in a females only bathhouse ten days ago and brought him back to you. He has been eating everything we came across ever since and even tried picking some jungle ramen bars off a vine." "Oh, so that's what enraged the Cherry-Worm into attacking you. TEN! You should know better than that!" A glum Ten doesn't say a word. Lum then asks, "Onsen-sensei, you said you found Ten in a females only bathhouse. How did you spot him?" "Eya! Hahahahahahah... err.. ummm cough cough... Lum-chan, I think we had better get back to the Valley." Flying ahead, Lum spreads the word that Onsenmark has returned. Everyone can feel the emotions rising within them, some feeling their emotions more than others. Shinobu's mood changes magically from sadness to absolute glee. Mr Fujinami is also happy because Onsenmark will be buying his food from the Hamajaya restaurant. Since her father is happy, Ryunosuke is NOT happy. Megane, Pama, Kakugari, and Chibi huddle together for a few moments after hearing the news and then split up. Pama carefully places a large collection of girlie magazines in a treasure chest and buries it. Chibi makes several long distance calls to cancel the fast food delivery orders to the school for the next month. Kakugari and Megane run to different parts of the trail into the Valley to attack Onsenmark as he passes by. At the Valley stream, Onsenmark bends over to take a drink of water just as Kakugari throws a dozen knives. The knives miss Onsenmark, but plaster Megane to a tree. Kakugari then pulls out a boomerang and throws it low. Just as Onsenmark lifts his head from the water, the boomerang goes flashing past right above the water. Dumbstruck at how Onsenmark could be so lucky, Kakugari isn't paying attention when the boomerang returns and knocks him cold. As Onsenmark rides away through the forest, Megane tries the old Tarzan trick to knock him off his mount, but halfway through his swing, his vine is suddenly cut. Landing solidly against a rock, Megane is out for a few moments, but that is long enough for Sugoi to hogtie her "Manju-sama" and cart him off. KAZE NO TANI NO LUM Onsenmark heads for the Valley schoolhouse, which also serves as the Valley palace. In the dispensary, Onsenmark, Lum, and Sakura (eyes closed) gather to speak while the Kotatsu-Neko sits in the bed with his one and only kotatsu on top of him. Retelling his experiences gained in far away lands, Onsenmark speaks, "It is getting worse every year. The herds of Cherries are running out of food to eat in the established sections of the jungle. If the jungle plants were not poisonous to humans, this would not be so bad. But now the Cherries are moving out into populated, productive areas. They eat everything! Even the buildings! And the few surviving principalities are fighting each other over the few remaining untouched restaurant districts." Sakura (eyes closed) replies, "It seems that the people of the land forget the prophesies little by little every year. They seem content to destroy what little chance mankind has for survival. The Cherries and the jungle are a reminder to us all of what happens when nations go to war. The Seven Days of Feasting ended a thousand years ago, yet the stories of the Bull Tigers can still evoke fear and dread when told today. I know the picture on the wall over there tells the entire story, even though my eyes cannot see it. The picture also tells of our salvation, a green-haired savior dressed in tigerstripes who will come to us on a field of red. But not if there are no people left to be saved. Onsenmark, is the fighting widespread enough to reach our peaceful Valley?" "It is hard to tell. The Mendo Emperor has declared open season on all who resist his authority. If he calls on our assistance, we may be drawn into the conflict." Lum is silent and her eyes are misting over as she stares at the picture on the wall. Ten's eyes were misting over a few minutes ago and he is already snoring. That night, a storm blows into the Valley and a half-asleep Ryunosuke goes to wake Lum up. Ryunosuke has been on the nighttime watch for two hours, and now it is Lum's turn. On patrol through the school hallways, Lum sees a flash of light in the stairway leading to the clock tower. Climbing up the stairs quietly, Lum sees Megane as a flash of lightning lights up the sky. Outside on the veranda, Kakugari and Pama and holding tight onto a rope. At the other end of the rope is a kite to which Chibi and a large lantern are tied. Scared out of his wits, Chibi is muttering a prayer with his eyes closed. Seemingly unaware that Lum is in the tower with them, Megane starts speaking softly but slowly builds in intensity and volume. "Something is not right. When Onsen- sensei went away, we were sure he was gone forever. We worked for twelve hours to sabotage his equipment before he left. The cut ropes, poisoned food, dulled sword... something should have done him in. He is Indestructible! We have had a full year of Vacation time with no Homework, and now it's all over. You know He will start assigning enough Homework to make up for the Time that He was Gone! And Then Some! It Is A Crime! How An Instructor Like HIM Just Keeps On Coming Back No Matter What We do! BUT THIS WILL CHANGE! Tonight WE Are Calling On The Mendo Army To COME And INVADE! (On the kite, the lantern lens is embossed with a stylized figure of an octopus head with a red anti sign slashing over the front) WE HAVE A FOOLPROOF PLAN! WHEN THE MENDO ARMY ARRIVES, WE WILL BE THERE TO GREET THEM WARMLY AND ASK A FAVOR IN EXCHANGE!! AND THEN ONSEN-SENSEI WILL HAVE NO PLACE TO RUN TO!" Getting tired of Megane's ranting and raving, Lum zaps him and then looks nastily at Kakugari and Pama. Quickly, they pull Chibi and the kite down out of the wind. But it is too late, a black Stuka is flying over the Valley at 5000 meters altitude. A stylized figure of an octopus head identifies it as a Mendo aircraft. On board, a warning light starts blinking. As a recon flight, the plane is stuffed full of little black boxes that look and listen for anything of interest to the Mendo family. As a result, the cockpit is crammed full of little warning lights and displays. It is often difficult to keep track of which light is for which alarm and which display is for the fuel supply. After studying the instruction manual (written as a shojo manga), the pilot realizes that the third red light from the left just above the blue button (to play the Mendo family anthem over loudspeakers) but below the green knob (for selecting ammunition types when the machineguns are fired) on the second tier of warning panel 36-C goes off only when someone or something within 20000 meters defaces the Mendo family crest. The pilot reaches for his pocket, pulls out a handful of 100 yen coins, places one in the telephone slot, and dials the number for the Mendo family estate. As this is happening, a large transport plane comes flying low over the Valley, sending everyone in the clock tower diving for cover as it rumbles overhead. Lum instantly recognizes the transport design as belonging to the Mendo family. With the first hint of angry fangs beginning to show, Lum takes off in pursuit. Flying alongside, she sees the cockpit area covered with Cherry-Maggots. Recoiling in horror, Lum realizes that the transport must have made an emergency landing in the jungle, and her anger changes into despair. The transport is in obvious difficulty: portions of it have already been eaten by the Cherry-Maggots. One wing breaks off and the transport drops like a rock. Lum gets a glimpse of a young girl with red hair in a window of the transport before it crashes into the ground with a huge explosion. Landing amid the wreckage, Lum sees a scene of absolute devastation. It seems that everything is burning up. Then she catches another glimpse of the red- haired girl pinned under a heavy panel. Running over to her, Lum tries to lift the panel but drops it on the red-haired girl's foot. "EEEEEEEEYOW!!!! YOU IDIOT!" "What!? Ran-chan! What a pleasant surprise! Oh, what are you doing here" "Lum. I'll Bet YOU Set The Mendo Family Up To Do This. Just To SPITE Me!" With anger-enhanced strength, Ran tosses the offending metal panel straight into the air and jumps to her feet. In a very low voice, Ran laughs demonically, "But I won't let you get away with it this time." "What is it, Ran-chan. Why are you mad at me?" 'Why? Why!? WHY!?! I'LL TELL YOU WHY!! BECAUSE..." WHAM! goes the metal panel that Ran threw into the air as it comes back down and lands on Ran's head. She is out cold when Kakugari and Pama finally reach the crash site, huffing and puffing from the long run. On the edge of the crash site, a Cherry-Moth has been cornered by a large crowd of villagers. Shinobu knows that a single Cherry-Moth could quite easily eat half of the food in the entire Valley and raises her wooden mallet with an evil grin on her face. But Ryunosuke blocks Shinobu's blow because she knows that harming the Cherry-Moth would be even more disastrous. Ryunosuke explains to Shinobu, "All of the Cherries are telepathically linked, and killing one would be the same as dropping a trail of sweet potatoes from the Valley to the edge of the jungle and then ringing a dinner bell." Still upset, Shinobu reluctantly lowers her mallet. Lum arrives on the scene, walks up to the Cherry-Moth, and pulls out her bag of round cookies. Immediately the Cherry-Moth starts salivating. Lum takes off into the air and the Cherry-Moth follows. Hours later near the edge of the jungle, Lum dives towards the ground and pulls out at the last moment. Attempting to follow her, the Cherry-Moth slams into the ground at full speed and knocks itself out. "Mata ne!" In front of the school, the fighting has ended. The villagers are all seated, surrounded by Mendo soldiers and Panzer tanks. In front of them is a pile of wooden mallets, taken as part of the surrender. As the Mendo family flag is raised proudly on the flagpole, applause and loud cheering is heard coming from the crowd of villagers. Hearing the clapping, Megane joins in until he realizes that Bunraku puppeteers among the villagers are leading the cheering. A brief scuffle ensues, afterwhich the villagers and puppeteers are seated in separate groups. A smiling Mr Fujinami and a scowling Ryunosuke walk around selling drinks and snacks, even to the Mendo soldiers. On the school balcony above them, some uniformed technicians are setting up a loudspeaker system and a small podium. Except for Mr Fujinami (who is enjoying the increase in business), the villagers are all surly and suspicious. Mendo Shutaro appears on the school balcony, dressed in a pure white school uniform and walking with all the pride and dignity of the Mendo family. As he does, the girls among the villagers all scream joyously and swoon with delight. Shutaro smiles and waves at them. Maintaining her composure better than her counterparts, Shinobu lightly throws something towards Shutaro. A heart-shaped earring and a handkerchief fashioned into a small parachute floats down onto Shutaro's shoulder. He takes the gift in his hand, pauses, considers it for a moment, notices a monogrammed "S" in the corner (taking it to mean "Shutaro"), looks towards Shinobu down below, and smiles. For a second time, the village girls swoon (except Sugoi, who is gleefully eating every bit of food Ryuunosuke has for sale). As this is going on, the village boys are all turning various colors and shades out of envy. Then Ryoko walks onto the balcony, dressed in her traditional kimono. The boys all freeze, eyes popping out of their sockets and mouths hanging down to the ground. Then they start cheering and clapping, except for Megane. Noticing that Pama, Kakugari, and Chibi are clapping too, Megane casts a very dark, demonic glance in their direction, sunlight reflecting off his 20/200 00 eyeglasses, making them hesitate and then stop. With heads hanging down in shame, Kakugari, Pama, and Chibi walk over to Megane and stand behind him. As Lum walks out the front door of the school, the villagers get quiet, sensing the gravity of their situation. Shutaro steps up to the microphone and clears his throat, but gets tied up and stuffed in a large trashbag by the Bunraku puppeteers before he can speak. "HALP! IT'S DARK IN HERE!" Then Ryoko steps up to the microphone. "People of the Valley, I am Mendo Ryoko and I am here to enlist you assistance in destroying the jungle that is engulfing our land and in eliminating the threat of the Cherries once and for all. We recently acquired an egg of one of the Bull Tigers from the Seven Days of Feasting. With the Bull Tiger to assist us, the jungle and the Cherries will be destroyed. As if participation in these glorious tasks were not payment enough, my brother Shutaro will marry the girl who helps us the most in this project." Muffled cries of protest are heard coming from the trashbag. "And I, Ryoko, will marry the boy who helps the most." After hearing this, the trashbag starts hopping around the balcony. Noticing that her fellow villagers are deathly quiet, Lum speaks, "Please, everyone. Do what they ask. We have no choice in the matter." The villagers start murmuring to each other, casting odd glances at Lum and Ryoko. Then Sakura (eyes closed) step s out of the school entrance, turns to face the balcony and says, "Yes, it seems we have no choice at all. We can choose death at the mercies of the jungle or death under the whips of the Mendo family. You seem to have forgotten that others have triedd estroying the Cherries before and all have failed. The relics of their civilizations now lie buried under the jungle." Finally punching his way out of the bag, Shutaro shouts, "SILENCE!" Ryoko breaks in, "The Bull Tiger will be invincible against the jungle. We are offering you a chance to end the cycle of destruction that holds our land." Shutaro shouts at Ryoko, "I Said QUIET!" CLONG! goes the two-meter tall bell that gets dropped over Shutaro, "WAAANH! I'M SCARED!" Sakura (eyes closed) speaks again, "Oh, a chance you say. Well that is more than you can say for the Kotatsu-Neko. You shot his kotatsu without so much as a by-your-leave!" Hearing this, the villagers react with shock, but before they can voice any response, Ryoko speaks "Yes, that bit of brutality belongs entirely to my Big Brother. But I brought an antique kotatsu from the Mendo family estate as a replacement and as a token of our good faith. I will freely give it to the Kotatsu-Neko." Lum tells the villagers again "I want no more trouble. Too many people have already been hurt." The villagers then start murmuring to each other again and split into three groups. In the first group, the girls are discussing what they will do. In the second group, the boys are doing the same. The third group has only ten people in it: Lum, Megane (Lum-san!), Sugoi (Grrrrr!), Ten, Kakugari, Pama, Chibi, Onsenmark, Sakura (eyes closed), and Ryunosuke. The first two groups complete their conferences and come out wearing octopus head armbands. Yelling and screaming, they call out "Shutaro!" and " Ryoko!". Her suppressed anger beginning to show, Lum shouts "I Said, We Have No Choice In The Matter!", but the villagers ignore her and continue cheering. Ryoko laughs and speaks to Lum, "It seems the people of the Valley have decided to help the Mendo family. You and your followers are under arrest." As a group of Mendo soldiers with machineguns surround Lum, Ryoko turns and leaves. Breaking out of the bell, Shutaro gets up just in time to see Lum's electrical discharge accidentally zapping Kakugari, Pama, and Chibi while Sugoi bites Megane on the leg. This touches something deep inside him: he has finally met a girl with pride and spirit to match his own. Later that day, a large work crew starts slowly hauling the Bull Tiger egg towards the schoolhouse. Mendo soldiers guard the process (with machineguns). Bunraku puppeteers provide the sound effects (with coconut shells). In the schoolhouse, a Mendo co mmand post has already been set up. Shutaro and Ryoko meet in front of a telescreen and place a call to the Mendo family estate. Also in the schoolhouse, a group of Mendo soldiers carry a large box into the dispensary, where Kotatsu-Neko is still in a state of shock. Opening the box, the soldiers pull out an ornately decorated kotatsu. Recovering instantly, Kotatsu-Neko leaps fr om the bed to gleefully hug the antique kotatsu, but is surprised when it moves and jumps out of the way as if alive. Kotatsu-Neko stands very still for a long time, then slowly and deliberately takes a single step towards the kotatsu. The kotatsu respo nds by taking a single step backwards. Kotatsu-Neko takes another step forward and the kotatsu reciprocates. Kotatsu-Neko turns his back to the kotatsu, waits a few moments, and then pounces towards the kotatsu. Ready for this move, the kotatsu springs out into the hallway. Kotatsu-Neko gives chase and the two go sprinting down the hallway. With a flying leap, Kotatsu-Neko manages to catch one leg of the kotatsu. The ensuing combat turns into a rapid display of a dozen or more professional wrestling holds, with Kotatsu-Neko and the kotatsu trading the advantage. Finally, the kotatsu sprays a cloud of snow and a blast of cold air out of its heating element. This temporarily shocks Kotatsu-Neko, who pauses to shiver and remember the cold that once k illed him so many centuries ago. Recovering, Kotatsu-Neko chases after the kotatsu again, running down the hall, out the front door, into the street, and out of the Valley, never to be seen again. That night, Onsenmark goes to see Lum. Reaching her room, he opens the door but Lum is not there. Ten is floating in the air, fast asleep. A gust of wind blows in the window and pushes Ten across the room where he disappears into thin air. Onsenmark walks over to the spot where Ten vanished and gets pulled into the dimensional doorway. Landing flat on his face, Onsenmark looks around to find himself in the middle of a huge laboratory filled on one side with a large selection of plants and fungi from the jungle and on the other side with a futuristic looking kitchen. Lum is sitting at a small table with her head in her hands and a bowl of star-shaped cookies beside her. Onsenmark recoils in horror when he realizes that 1: Lum has been cooking agai n, and 2: he is in a room filled with very deadly plants without a breathing mask for protection. Lum senses him and looks up. Onsenmark mentally blocks out both reasons when he when he notices that she is awake and not wearing a mask either. "Lum! W hat are you doing with all these plants here? By all rights we should both be dead from spores." "Yes, it is amazing. I started these experiments shortly after you left the last time. I wanted to see if I could find something useful in the jungle. I gathered spores and grew them in clean soil with fresh water. The plants did not become dangerous." Onsenmark leans over to look closely at a group of pretty, silent red blossoms, "Maybe not dangerous, but how can these things be useful?" Lum looks at the bowl of star-shaped cookies in front of her, "That was the hardest part. I spent months trying to create a good recipe, but I finally succeeded. This is the first batch. I was going to make the big announcement tomorrow, but now I am not sure I sho uld." She flies over to Onsenmark and starts crying softly on his shoulder. Onsenmark heaves a (very cautious) sigh of relief... "Thankyouthankyouthankyou for not letting her ask me to try them", he thinks (with equal caution). The next morning, the Mendo air invasion force prepares to depart. A small barge glider from the Valley gets attached to a corvette with a tow line. Having chosen to remain loyal to Lum, Megane, Pama, Kakugari, and Chibi start loading the barge glider with supplies for the long trip back to the Mendo family estate as prisoners. Sugoi is nowhere to be seen, so Megane is both relived (because she's not doing anything to him right now) and concerned (because he doesn't know exactly what she IS doing right now). Shutaro is standing by the door to the corvette saying his farewells to Ryoko. Both are holding brightly packaged box lunches that Ryoko made that morning (octopus sashimi, bu t she's not telling Shutaro). "Remember, Father said Lum will be my fiance as soon as I can ask permission from her parents." All of the villagers are standing to one side: they watch quietly as Lum walks and Ten floats over to the corvette. Just before she reaches the door, a group of small girls run up to her. "Lum! We have a going away present from Ran and my friends for you and my husband." "Why Mako! That was very nice, wasn't it Ten?" "I AM NOT HER HUSBAND" Mako pauses for a moment, sniffs twice, then starts crying. "There, there, everything will be all right. We will come back, Mako. I promise." Lum looks at Ten with the faintest hint of blue electricity arcing around her horns. "Won't we, Ten?." Ten breaks out in a cold sweat, "Y Y Y Yes will w w w w will come ba ba ba ba back." "Really? You mean it? My husband does love me! Farewell, Husband! Return home safely!" Mako and friends then run up to each Mendo aircraft, handing the pilots small going away presents. As the Mendo air invasion force takes off and forms into a convoy, Ryoko leans out of one of the corvette's windows, waves at Shutaro on the ground. Onsenmark and Sakura (eyes closed) stand in front of the villagers. Ran is standing beside them. She casts a glance at Mako, then back at the corvette, and allows an evil grin to spread slowly across her face. With fangs showing, she suddenly starts laughing loudly with a decidedly demonic accent. Noticing that the villagers have all jumped back and are staring at her, she pauses, switches into sweet-as-sugar mode and says "Kya!" in an octave that sounds like Minmay on helium. After the engines in the convoy have faded into the distance, Shutaro hears a distinct ticking sound coming from his boxed lunch. Suddenly remembering his sister's warped sense of humor, he drops the boxed lunch and ducks behind a large rock. The ticking stops and Shutaro braces for the explosion, but nothing happens. Several minutes later, he is still bracing for the explosion, and the entire village is standing there looking at him. Regathering his dignity, he strides confidently over and picks up the box. He does not notice the string wrapped around his lunch is actually an antenna wire, nor the miniature camera lens in the stylized octopus eye on the wrapping. KABOOM! In the corvette, Ryoko puts away a hand-held transmitter. High in the sky, a lone gunship patrols over the jungles of the Periphery. Star-quartered roundels on the side identifies it as a Mizunokoji gunship. A masked young boy sits at the controls, staring intently at an instrument panel. In the barge glider, the members of Lum's Guard are noisily slurping noodles. "Megane, your plan didn't work out the way you told us it would. Onsen-sensei is still in the Valley." "That's right. You told us the Mendo family would help us, but look at us now! We are prisoners." "The whole Valley has turned against us, Megane!" With a face looking like it was chiseled out of stone, Megane sits and thinks for a while. Pama, Kakugari, and Chibi (how DOES Chibi ever manage to eat noodles around Kakugari's headlock?) sit and stare at Megane, waiting intently for any response. "Hmm , needs more soy sauce," Megane thinks to himself. Slurping down the last of his noodles, Megane stands and begins to speak: "Yes, we are prisoners of the Mendo family. But all is not lost. We are still with Lum. Remember the Oath each of Us took before joining the Guard. Or Have You Forgotten The Words?" Raising his right hand and placing his left hand on a stack of Shonen Sunday mangas, Megane continues, "I (state your full name) do solemnly swear that I will support and defend Lum's honor, Again st All Suitors, Foreign And Domestic, That I Will Bear True Faith And Allegiance TO LUM, WITHOUT ALLOWING ANY OTHER GIRL TO DISTRACT MY ATTENTION, AND THAT I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE TO CARRY OUT THESE DUTIES, SO HELP ME LUM!" Shamed into submission, Pama, Kakugari, and Chibi run over to Megane with open arms and tears in their eyes. At the last moment, the three tackle Megane and sit down on top of him. "So HERE'S where you've been hiding the Shonen Sundays!!" In the corvette, Ryoko is reading over an opera script that she and her Bunraku puppeteers will present to her father back at the Mendo family estate. With a feather quill and bottle of ink, she carefully edits it to suit her fancy. Reaching the end of Act 2, she closes the script and pauses to consider the title she has chosen, "Ton Giovanni". Sitting behind her and looking out the window, Lum is very quiet. Lum senses something, and squints directly into the sun. She spots a little black speck moments before it turns into a gunship, flashing right through the middle of the Mendo air convoy. Two of the Mendo airplanes burst into flames as alarms on the corvette start going off. One of the Mendo aircrew members in the corvette shouts out, "It's a Mizunokoji gunship! There shouldn't be any more of them around here!" Ryoko calmly activates the corvette's emergency distress radio, to let her father know she will be late for dinner. On board the Mizunokoji gunship, the masked young boy gets startled by shock waves from the explosions. Seeing that he is in the middle of a real fight, he switches off the PC Engine videogame display, pulls out the "Airfight! (tm)" game cartridge, inserts the fire control system cartridge, and swings the gunship around for another pass. As it heads towards them, the Mendo airplanes open fire with a horrendous volley of missiles and machineguns. Missing horribly, the gunship passes right through the middle of the Mendo air convoy a second time. Even though the gunship does not fire a single shot, three more Mendo airplanes explode. Confused with fright and panic, two of the still-airworthy Mendo airplanes start evasive actions and dodge right into each other. With the Mendo air convoy having only a corvette and a fighter left, the gunship circles for a third pass. The masked young boy laughs to himself, (click click clickclick) "What? I forgot to turn off the safety!" On the corvette, Lum is amazed at Ryoko's calm response to the destruction of her air convoy. However, this does not apply to Ten, who wets his pants as the explosions get louder and closer. Looking out the window again, Lum sees the Valley barge glider floating free but losing altitude, falling into the layer of clouds above the jungle. Then the box Mako had given to Lum starts moving. Looking at the brightly wrapped box in her hands, Lum is surprised when it bursts open and out pops a little mechanical doll that looks just like her good friend Ran. Speaking with a high pitched electronic voice, the doll says, "Lum-chan! Lum-chan! Greetings from an old friend." "A messenger doll! What could Ran-chan possibly want to tell me now?" "Lum-chan! Ran-chan has always been Lum-chan's best friend. Even when Lum-chan took Rei-sama away, Ran-chan never betrayed Lum-chan." The doll puts its head down and starts crying. Ryoko leans over to get a good close look at the doll and remarks, "How cute! Where did you ever manage to find pink chiffon?" The doll responds, "But now Lum-chan has gone too far. Ran-chan and Rei-sama were on a date when Lum-chan called Ryoko-chan to come and take Rei-sama away again." "But I never called Ryoko!" "Ran-chan will never forget." Lum starts backing away as the doll speaks once more, "Here is a present from a good friend. I will explode in five seconds." Lum springs into action. She snatches Ten and blasts the corvette door open with an electric bolt. Just before Lum leaps out of the doomed corvette, Ryoko puts on her best expression of pure innocence and waves goodbye. This touches something in Lum's heart, "Hurry! Jump!" Ryoko pauses for a moment, then leaps out the corvette door with Lum and Ten. Straining her flying ability, Lum manages to catch Ryoko and keep her from falling. At the same instant, the masked young boy in the gunship opens fire at the Mendo corvette with an autocannon. When he sees two pretty girls jump out the door, he stops firing and allows his mind to wander into the realm of sukebe daydreams. This makes him a big fat target for the Mendo fighter, which strafes the Mizunokoji gunship with machineguns. The gunship goes down in flames, but not before slamming into the corvette's wing. As if losing a wing wasn't enough, the messenger doll explodes in the corvette's cockpit, and everything falls to pieces. A few seconds later, the messenger doll given to the Mendo fighter pilot wakes up and explodes. -- | Eric The Kouba ekouba.rmii.com | |---------------------------------------------------------------| | HAWK LION, we see your active directive at system time 07130, | | mod enabled at 134, negative s-tones, and range is cycling... |