This story deals with what if, due to special circumstances,  Ataru 
actually managed to get his harem with the blessing of all the girls 
involved, including Lum.  Her special attitude and those of the others 
have a reason that will be explained.  Ataru gets to find out just how 
dangerous, painful, and generally irritating it is having everyone 
gathered together.

The characters are from what I've seen so far from what tapes have been 
translated and released.  I've seen 1-18, but I've heard number 19 is out 
there.  Newer characters that weren't in the series since tape 5 or so I 
just ignored.  Here's hoping they'll finish releasing them within my 
lifetime.  

Disclaimer: None of this is my fault.
Feel free to distribute this as much as you wish.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
               

"Ataru's Harem"  
  by Jeff Judkins  (raoh@hotmail.com) 


Ataru was rapidly losing his enthusiasm for this game.  He didn't think it 
was possible to tie someone up with chains, but Benten knew how.  He 
shifted his weight around.  There was absolutely no give to them, and he 
suspected his wrists were bleeding from the strain.  After setting him up 
for this, Benten had left to get some more 'toys'.  He whimpered.

Benten walked into the room, dropping an armful of knives, chains, and 
alien devices on the floor just within sight.  Ataru strained his neck to 
get a better view.  She selected the largest chain of the group and pulled 
it free.  It had to weigh at least fifty pounds.  It was double linked, 
black as death, and Ataru suspected those little links on the end were 
hooks.  He strained harder.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"You'll see."

"I thought the term was 'whips and chains!'"

Benten rolled her eyes.  "Boooring!"

She grinned suddenly and walked out of sight.  Ataru struggled anew.  He 
could hear the chain over the sound of his heartbeat.  He was going to 
die.  He knew this with cold certainty.  The end of the chain was pulled 
out of sight.  He watched it go.  The sound it made was crystal clear.  
Ataru stopped breathing.

CRACK

Ataru tried to scream.  He couldn't.  He heard Benten through the fog of 
pain.

"One."  

CRACK

He thought he screamed.  He thought he heard giggling.  He thought he 
heard his back breaking.  He thrashed around and ripped his arm free, 
trailing blood and bits of flesh.  The pain gave him strength he didn't 
know he had.  He twisted around just in time to block the next strike.  
The chain slammed into his arm and wrapped itself around.  Ataru just 
managed to jerk his head back and save his eyes from the links on the end.

Was his arm supposed to hang like that?  Oh, it's broken.  Ataru thought 
about this.  The pain seemed to have reached an intensity, but Ataru felt 
if he didn't think about it, maybe it would go away.  Benten looked 
disappointed and annoyed.  She gave a tug, and Ataru's world seemed to 
fade in and out.  

"Benten!  What are you doing?!  Darling!"

Suddenly Lum was there.  Ataru nearly sobbed in relief.  She unwrapped the 
chain and Ataru could dimly make out the dialogue.  Something about just 
having fun, just getting started, being more careful, what's the big deal.  
Ataru concentrated past the pain.

"Oh, I see," said Lum finally.  She looked down at the collection Benten 
had gathered.  She looked up brightly.  "Can I watch?"

"Sure!"

Ataru tried to scream.  He couldn't.  In a burst of terror inspired 
strength, he pulled his other arm free.  "No!  You can't!  She's gonna 
kill meee!"

Benten dropped the chain.  "Oh, don't be such a wimp.  It's not as if 
anyone actually dies from Kalkidri that often.  Its just a game!  What do 
you think this is for?"  Benten selected an alien gizmo and turned it on.  
It might have looked harmless in any other situation, but Ataru knew the 
signs.  The device had lots of unnecessary buttons, knobs, and emitted an 
orange glow that bathed him in its light.  It was definitely an Alien 
Device.

Benten loaded it like a shotgun.  Before he could say anything, she went 
into a classic shooter's stance, braced, and fired.  Ataru couldn't dodge 
with the restraints, so he simply screamed.  Suddenly the pain went away.  
He blinked.  Could this actually be a useful alien device?  He stopped 
struggling.

His arm suddenly moved by itself.  There were several popping noises, and 
the pain returned.  This time Pain brought its friends, Torment and Agony.  
He was acutely aware of the blood hissing and boiling at the surface.  His 
wounds seemed to fuse shut.  After a small eternity, it stopped.  The pain 
was gone.

She turned the machine off.  The pain started up again, but it was more of 
an ache than anything else.  "Bio-regenerator.  Top of the line." said 
Benten.  Ataru looked at his arm.  It was completely healed.  It seemed to 
work fine.  The air had the smell of burnt flesh.  He looked closer.  Was 
that steam?

"Poor Darling."  Lum produced a pair of bolt cutters and started to free 
him.

"Don't worry.  I've got another game we can try."  She reached down and 
selected a double-bladed knife with a serrated edge.  It was easily as 
long as her forearm.  Ataru twitched.  "This one's yours." She tossed it 
to Ataru, who frantically dodged.  The knife buried itself in the wall.

When Ataru turned back, Benten was holding another knife.  Perhaps short 
sword would have been more accurate a description.  She clicked on a 
switch and it started humming.  She smiled, and stalked towards him.  He 
backed up and looked towards Lum, but she was no help.  She looked like 
she was enjoying the show.

He got angry.  "Are you completely mad?  Knives are deadly weapons, not 
entertainment!  This isn't fun at all!"

"Where's the fun without the threat of death to spice things up?  You 
don't like Tiessin, you don't like Kalkidri, just what do you like, 
anyway?"

"The threat of death isn't fun!"  Even as Ataru said this, his mind 
conjured up images of Lum chasing him down on his girl-hunting.  The 
thrill of the chase, the excitement, the inevitable electric lynching 
afterwards.  He stopped the grin before it could show.  No!  Knives and 
chains were too much!  He would have to be firm on this.

"C'mon.  Try it!"  Benten lashed out.  "Gotcha."

"Ahhh!  You cut me!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby!"

"You nicked an artery!  Look at it!  Look at it!"  The wound in question 
was indeed spraying blood in a nice gentle arc across the room.  He waved 
his arm around.  Blood flew everywhere.   

"Darling, you're bleeding all over the place!"

"I need a doctor.  Get out of the way, dammit!"

"Hmph."  Benten looked like she was sulking.  She turned off the knife.

Ataru clamped a hand over the wound and went into the bathroom.  Then he 
remembered the bio-regenerator.  He swore in frustration.  Getting it 
would involve getting past Benten again, and he wasn't sure he wanted to 
do that.  Lum flew in behind him.

"Is it that bad?  Let me see."

Ataru reluctantly removed his hand.  The bleeding wasn't as severe as 
before, but it still needed attention.  Lum got closer.  Her hair fell 
over his arm.  Suddenly Ataru was intensely aware of her.  Desire flared.  
She reached out and tenderly caressed his arm.  "You want me to fix this, 
Darling?"  She stared at him with surprising intensity.  Her blue eyes 
shimmered.

Ataru swallowed.  "Yeah."

Lum smiled, held the wound closed, and poured fifty thousand volts into 
him.

Seconds later, Ataru was out the door.  He was twitching badly.  "That's 
it.  I'm out of here.  I've had enough for one day."  He hurriedly got 
dressed and was out the door.  Lum was following every step of the way.  

"You said you wanted the bleeding stopped.  It stopped.  What did I do 
wrong, Darling?  Darling!"

"Enough!  Stop following me!"  He stomped down the stairs and slammed the 
door behind him.

Ataru picked a direction and went.  This wasn't going to work.  At first, 
it had been fun.  The occasional electrical bursts weren't that bad.  He 
was somewhat resistant to pain, and having all these girls assembled at 
the same time seemed compensation enough.  He still wasn't sure about 
Lum's story about Ran wanting revenge.  That fire and explosion was 
probably a natural occurrence.

Then he remembered Shinobu.  She wasn't part of the group as of yet, but 
Ataru was hoping.  He just had to wait until she got out of the hospital.  
One of Sakura's spirits had gotten away and hurt her pretty bad.  Sakura 
had promised more control and even apologized.  Shinobu was just unlucky 
enough to be around when it escaped its bindings.  

The others each had their own stories.  None of this would have happened 
if Lum hadn't suddenly changed her mind overnight about his desire to 
assemble a harem.  She never said anything.  She just stopped trying to 
stop him.  The others each joined up one after the other with surprising 
speed.  He never thought about how unnatural it all was until now.  He 
just assumed that he somehow deserved it.

*   *   *

Megane swore.  He was dressed in three layers of clothing and it still 
wasn't enough.  The temperature had to be at least negative twenty, but at 
least there was no wind.  He stomped through the snow and turned left, 
kicking something accidentally.  

For an instant, he dismissed it as being a rock.  Realization hit him.  He 
stopped, fought back a growing horror at what it must be, reached down, 
and extended a gloved hand into the snow.  He found it immediately, and 
pulled it free.

It was his cat, Sugoi.  It was frozen solid.  

"Dammit!"

This was not going to work.  This was not going to work!  He had accepted 
that Oyuki needed a permanent gate to Neptune, but the damned thing just 
had to blow in forty tons of snow a day.  They couldn't set them up 
indoors on their end.  No, that would make too much sense.  They had to 
pick the middle of a field somewhere.  Now the house was an icebox.  It 
was intolerable.  It was the middle of summer.  Why the hell was it 
necessary to shovel snow just to get outside?

Megane resumed his trek down the hall, stomping all the way, grumbling at 
the injustice of it all.  A minute later, he found what he was looking 
for.  He wiped the accumulated frost away from the device on the wall.  He 
peered at it.  Yep, the heater was on maximum.  The needle was buried 
below forty.  

He shook his head sadly.  He might owe Ataru a lot, but this was too much.  
He leaned heavily against the basement door, which suddenly opened.  
Balance lost, he crashed all the way down.  He rested a moment and got to 
his feet painfully.  The snow had cushioned his fall somewhat, but it 
still hurt.

Megane fumbled for the light switch and clicked it on.  He gasped.  There 
were bodies piled against the far wall.  All were partially clothed and 
bore deep claw marks as though a beast had ripped into them.  There were 
six.  Two looked partially eaten.  He blinked.  They didn't go away.  It 
was real.

As he worked up the nerve to get closer, he noticed the bones scattered 
about.  They were nearly invisible against the snow.  Perhaps with the 
bones included, it was seven dead.  You'd think he would have heard 
something.

Maybe this is what happened to Cherry?  Megane looked closer.  All of the 
corpses were strangers.  None of them was even close to being Cherry's 
size.  Not that he missed him or anything, its just that it would have 
been worse had it been someone he knew.  

He had to tell somebody.  Megane went back up the stairs.

*   *   *

Ataru wandered aimlessly.  It was too early to head back, and for some 
reason, he didn't feel like girl-hunting today.  He must be sick.  

"Moroboshi!" 

Ataru turned.  Mendo walked forward.  His sword was drawn, and he looked 
very unhappy.

"What have you done with Shinobu?"

Ataru backed up.  "You mean, you didn't hear about her condition?"

"Condition..." Mendo said softly.  "That had better not mean what I think 
it means, Moroboshi."

"NO!  I mean, she's in the hospital.."

"WHAT!"

Mendo attacked.  Ataru's hands flew together and stopped the blade in 
mid-strike, inches above his face.  "Its not my fault!  Sakura did it!  
One of the things she conjured got away from her!  I thought you knew!  
You mean nobody told you?"

Mendo stepped back, pulled his sword free and lowered it.  "No.  No one 
told me."  The sword slid back into its sheathe.  "Is she ok?"

Ataru relaxed.  "Yeah, the doctor said she's in good condition.  She 
should be out within a week.  Why didn't you call her house if you're so 
concerned?"

He shrugged.  "I just assumed you were responsible.  I'll have to go see 
her, then."  Without another word, he turned around and headed in the 
other direction.

Ataru watched him go.  "As if things weren't dangerous enough."

*   *   *

He returned home within a few hours.  As Ataru reached for the door, it 
slowly opened itself.  Hovering nearby was a diminutive spirit whose sole 
task in its new 'life' was to open the door.  Privately, he thought it 
distasteful that the little things should be made to work in the normal 
world as slaves, but Sakura needed to keep them busy, or they went away.  

Sakura was using him in her new business to attract, banish, and/or 
enslave spirits and demons.  She was arguably the most evil of the group.  
Once you died, that should be it.  Ever since her uncle had vanished, she 
was heavily into black magic.  The annoying priest had actually been a 
good influence on her.  Now he was gone.  No one knew where.  He would 
probably change his mind if he ever did show up.

As to why she was here, Ataru had two theories: One of her spells to get 
rid of Ataru failed and had the opposite effect, or one of her new demon 
patrons had a strange sense of humor and cursed her.  Lum had tried to 
fight her off, and ended up on the receiving end of a mind altering spell.  
Sakura was persistent now, and deadly, and Ataru was scared to death of 
her.

Everyone was gathered around for dinner.  Ataru's father was sitting in 
his customary place, buried behind his newspaper.  His mother was setting 
up the dishes.  Ran and Sakura were already seated, sitting as far away 
from each other as possible.  There seemed to be a black aura around 
Sakura that wasn't there before.

Both smiled as he walked in.  Ran seemed cuter than normal, and Sakura 
inspired a nameless fear.  It was almost as if he could feel an unseen 
force tugging at his soul.  Ataru had never let his fears rule him before, 
and he wasn't about to start now, so he sat down between them.

Lum and Benten entered the room.  They sat on either side of Ataru, each 
grabbing a free arm.  Benten then pulled out a knife from nowhere.  She 
grinned at Ataru, and started cleaning her fingernails.  He looked away 
and shuddered.

"What's wrong, Darling?" asked Lum

"Nothing."

Ran got up and together with Ataru's mother they began serving portions to 
the others.  Ran set two plates down.  "This is for Lum-chan.  This is for 
Darling," she sang in a sing-song voice.  "And this is for Sakura."  For 
Sakura, she kind of edged closer, put down the plate, and backed quickly 
away.  She walked completely around the table and sat on the far side.

While this was going on, Lum quickly and silently switched Ataru's 
father's plate with hers.  No one noticed.

Ataru peered at his food and tried to identify it.  Over here was a type 
of meat, and he thought those were vegetables, but the little black and 
orange things were something new.  The whole thing was mixed in with a 
liquid that Ataru suspected could have been, but probably wasn't, gravy.  
This was the first half of the 'dinner ritual'.  He pretended to eat a 
few bites, waiting to see if his parents or Sakura were effected.

He was glad he waited.  Within a minute, Ataru's father began choking and 
gasping, turning several different colors in the span of ten seconds.  He 
fell backward with a crash.  Sakura turned and spat out her food.  She 
joined everyone in glaring at Ran.  Ran got to her feet.  "Oh!  What 
should I do?"  She hid her face with her hands and began to cry.  Benten 
shrugged and resumed eating.

Ataru's mother helped him to his feet.  He was slightly off color, but 
looked tired more than anything else.  His breathing was ragged.  "Thank 
goodness you're ok," said Ataru's mother.  "We never could have afforded 
to take you to the hospital."  

Lum stood up and narrowed her eyes.  "What did you put in the food, Ran?" 
she accused.  

"Don't be angry.  I didn't do anything."  Ran lowered her hands and 
looked back at Lum.  Her eyes were filled with tears.  "It's your own 
fault, anyway."

"What did you say?!"

"I prepared that especially for you, Lum-chan.  You like your food 
spicier than normal.  You must have switched it with him!  I would never 
do anything to hurt my dear childhood friend."

"How would you know that I switched it?"

"Then you DID switch it!  You admit it!"

"I wouldn't have switched it if you didn't give me reasons to do it!"

Ran drew back.  "You're CRUEL, Lum-chan!  All I've ever done is be nice 
to you.  And you pay me back by stealing my ice cream and blaming 
everything on me!"

Lum looked confused.  "What ice cream?"

"Don't you remember?  Back when we were kids, we went to the park, and you 
dropped your ice cream cone and my mother forced me to share mine!  That 
was mine!  You stole it from me!  I owe you for that and I'm going to make 
you pay a thousand times!  That creeper's milk poison probably wouldn't 
have killed you.  You would have been sick for days, sure, but you deserve 
it!  You were supposed to eat it like a good girl, but nooo, you just HAD 
to suspect your dear childhood friend and get rid of it!"  She sobbed 
bitterly.

"You put poison in the food?!  What's wrong with you?" 

"How DARE you blame this on me!  Die, Lum!"

Ran whipped out a bazooka from nowhere.  Lum yelped and dived to the side, 
and Ran's first shot tore through the wall behind her.  Ataru scrambled 
for his food and threw himself flat to avoid the flying debris.  

Benten returned fire.  "Calm down, dammit!  We're trying to eat!"  Her 
shot vaporized the outer wall.  Ran shrieked and dropped to one knee.  She 
looked up with fire in her eyes.

"Benten!  You'll get the same if you defend her!  Eat this!"  She fired 
back.  The shot went low and the table went up.  Everyone else scattered.  
This was the second half of the ritual.  These fights varied in severity, 
but the Unnatural Disaster insurance was paid up.  The house would 
survive, as long as they kept their fight in the lower level.

The fight lasted only a few minutes.  The explosions ceased and the dust 
cleared.  Benten and Ran staggered outside.  Their clothing was charred 
and in disarray, and each was trailing smoke.  Both walked about ten feet 
out and collapsed simultaneously, assorted limbs sticking in the air.  The 
house itself was still standing despite the damage.

Ataru spoke first.  "Guess we should see how bad the damage is."

"Don't bother." said Sakura.  "I can fix this."  She turned to Ataru, 
"With your permission?"

Ataru stared back.  He nodded slowly.

Sakura grinned.  Without another word she stepped forward and placed a 
hand on his shoulder. She then began to chant.  Ataru instantly felt the 
effects.  It was as if his life was draining away.  She was stealing it!  
Panicked, he tried to pull away as the pain intensified.

Suddenly Lum was there.  She was furious.  "What are you doing to my 
Darling!" she demanded.  

Sakura glanced over.  "Be silent!"  

Lum's expression changed like someone flipped a switch.  She even smiled 
as she flew back.

"Lum," Ataru said miserably.

When Ataru started to collapse, she released him.  Sakura raised both 
hands and a gate shimmered into existence.  Before he could pass out, he 
saw something come through.  There were terror filled screams over 
Sakura's chanting, but Ataru was too far gone to tell who made them.  His 
attention was fixed on Lum, who was still smiling, but the look in her 
eyes was fearful.

*   *   *

Ataru awoke to a ravenous hunger.  He was in his own room.  Lum was asleep 
nearby.  She had probably been watching over him all this time.  Things 
were going from bad to worse.  As if chains, knives, bombs, electric 
shocks, poison, and random property damage weren't enough, he had Sakura 
tapping him as an energy source!  He sat up and looked at the clock.  It 
was eight in the morning.

"Lum.  Lum!" he called softly.

She awoke instantly and smiled.  "Darling.  I'm glad you're okay."

"What happened?  I guess I passed out."

She looked away.  "Sakura summoned something.  It fixed the house, and she 
sent it back."

"That's it?"

"Isn't that enough?  Ran is still trying to avenge herself on me, Benten 
won't leave you alone," Lum's hands clenched and Ataru could see her 
building herself up to a raging inferno, but then the anger instantly 
vanished.  She smiled.  "But that's all alright, Darling.  And then 
there's Sakura..." she growled.  The rage returned, and vanished again.  
"But its all ok with me."  She smiled brightly.

No doubt about it.  Sakura was definitely screwing with Lum's mind.  This 
definitely wasn't right.  Sakura may be excessively beautiful, which 
counted for a lot, but she was rapidly getting worse.  As to why she stuck 
around him, he suspected he knew the answer.  He had asked her once why 
she needed his help.  She said he was a walking focus of bad luck.  Evil 
spirits just liked him.  His unluckiness was a source of power.

He stood up slowly and angrily clenched his hands into fists.  He struck a 
pose and raised one fist into the air.  "I swear I will do something about 
this!"  He walked over to Lum, pulled her to her feet, and looked deeply 
into her eyes.  "I'll free you from this, Lum.  Somehow, I'll make it 
right again."  

Lum was speechless.  She started to cry and then hugged him fiercely.  
"Oh, Darling!  I love you so much!"

ZAK ZAK ZAK ZAK

*   *   *

There was a knock on the door, and Ataru staggered down the stairs to 
answer it, closely followed by Lum.  It was Megane.  He looked like he 
hadn't been asleep all night.

"What happened to you?" asked Ataru.

"Could we discuss this inside?"  

Ataru thought about this.  He would need some help if Sakura wouldn't 
leave, and there weren't that many people he could depend on.  "It's not 
really safe here," he whispered.  "Come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know.  Just away from here."

They headed off down the street.  Lum flew along beside them.  Megane 
filled them in on what he had discovered in his basement.  He was out all 
night because he was too scared to go back home.  The police didn't 
believe him.  They told him they had to wait for their winter gear to 
arrive before they could search the place.

"Oyuki set up the gate about a month ago, right?" asked Ataru. 

"Yes, that's right.  She just had to set up that thing in my house, 
because your house was already too crowded.  You didn't have to have her 
do that."

"What?"

"I'm still kind of angry about that.  I may owe you big, but that was 
pushing our friendship a bit far."

"What are you talking about?" Ataru demanded.  Megane just glared.  "I 
never had her set up a gate anywhere, you never owed me anything, and I 
never asked you for anything."

Megane's eyes narrowed.  "Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't.  Looks like Sakura got to you, too."

"Huh?"

"You've had your mind influenced.  Sakura's been tossing spells around to 
control and manipulate everyone.  Guess she got to you.  But why would she 
want a permanent gate to Neptune?"

"You're crazy." Megane declared.

"Oh, yeah?  I'll prove it.  Just watch Lum closely."  Ataru turned around.  
He closed his eyes and reached out with his advanced hentai senses at 
maximum.  Over there!  He opened his eyes and pointed.  "Look!  A cute 
girl!  Can I ask her out, Lum?"

Lum twitched and trembled a bit, turned and smiled.  "Of course you can.  
It's alright with me."

Megane was impressed.  "Wow."

"It all started a month ago when Sakura showed up at my doorstep.  Benten 
moved in a few days later.  That was the same time as when Cherry 
disappeared and Shinobu got hurt.  Maybe Shinobu saw what happened, and 
knows what's going on."

"It's worth a try.  Let's go."

*   *   *

Shinobu was awake when they got there.  Mendo was seated nearby.  He eyed 
them suspiciously when they walked in.  His hand edged toward his sword.  
"What do you want, Moroboshi?" he demanded.

Ataru raised his hands defensively.  "We just came by to see how she was 
doing.  Something's been going on, and we think she may be able to help."

Shinobu crossed her arms and glared.  "I should have known you wouldn't be 
here just to see me." she grumbled.

"That's not true!"  Ataru seemed to shimmer.  One second he was by the 
door, the next he was at Shinobu's side, holding her hand.  No one saw him 
move.  He spoke very softly and seriously.  "You know that I think only of 
you."

Lum twitched.  "Darling..."

"Yes, Lum?"

"It's ok with me.  Nevermind."  She smiled.

Mendo and Shinobu looked astonished.  Ataru let go of her hand.  Mendo's 
relaxed his grip on his katana.  "Ok, something IS going on.  Spill it."

Ataru started talking.  He mentioned Sakura's and Lum's odd behavior, and 
Megane added how unusual it was to have the other girls hang around Ataru.  
Privately, Ataru thought Sakura's influence had just speeded up the 
inevitable.  Without Lum's interference, it was only natural that he would 
gather a harem.

After their story was completed, Shinobu told what she saw.  More than a 
month ago, she ran across Sakura and Cherry.  They were going to find and 
banish a spirit or demon that had been sighted nearby.  Shinobu went with 
them, as she had nothing better to do.

They finally found it near Megane's house.  There was a dimensional gate 
sitting there in a vacant lot, with lots of snow gathered all around.  The 
demon surprised them, and Sakura and Cherry tried to fight it.  It threw 
Cherry into the rift, and then went after Shinobu.  She thought for sure 
Sakura drove it off, because she was still alive.  Guess she didn't.

The group thought about this.  "We should contact Oyuki.  She might be 
able to find Cherry, and he may be able to help," said Lum.          

"It's been over a month.  Wouldn't he have starved to death or something 
by now?" asked Ataru.

"I don't think so.  He could be stuck inside the gate for thousands of 
years before he started to get hungry.  It's a tricky science.  Usually 
that type of travel is instantaneous if the gate is stable.  You either 
make it to your destination or you're lost forever.  He may be dead, or 
the demon may have killed him and then thrown him in.  I doubt he's dead, 
though."

"Why not?"

"Because nobody every actually gets KILLED on this show."

He thought about this.  

"Anyway, if the demon is still around and is using Megane's house as a 
lair, we should be able to go there and find it," supplied Mendo.

"Also, if there's a gate to Neptune there, that would be the fastest way 
to find Oyuki," said Lum.

Ataru was uncertain.  "What if the demon IS there?"

Mendo looked grim.  He held up his sword.  "Then we kill it.  Perhaps it 
is the one that is influencing Sakura, and all will be solved when it 
dies."

"What if it's supernatural, and we need Sakura or Cherry to handle it?"

"We are on a mission to rescue Cherry."  Even as he said this, Mendo 
looked disgusted.  "They failed once before.  He can try again.  
Regardless, WE will not fail."

"But what if..."

"Enough!  I'll supply us with weapons.  Fair enough?"

Ataru grumbled.

They said their goodbyes to Shinobu and left for the Mendo estate.  Lum 
left them for a time to stop by her UFO, and they agreed to meet her at 
the house.

*   *   *

Ataru greedily reached for another gun, enjoying the way Mendo flinched.  
He left it untouched.  He already had what he wanted.  Ataru didn't know 
what his rifle was called, but he knew he was in love.  It was fully 
automatic.  There were switches to go from armor piercing to high 
explosive to phosphorous rounds.  The normal bullets were even silver 
plated, just in case their opponent was in fact supernatural.  He couldn't 
seem to stop giggling.

Mendo had his sword and a shotgun with a laser sight.  Ataru had believed 
up til then that you couldn't predict exactly where every shotgun pellet 
would go.  Guess he was wrong.  The shotgun was also fully automatic.  The 
thing ripped through its targets with ease.  Ataru was in love with it, 
too.

Lum had a gun that she brought from her ship, and Mendo kept trying to buy 
it.  She kept refusing, mentioning something called a prime directive, or 
something.  The thing vaporized whatever it hit, and it also had a laser 
sight.  Once the dot was on your target, you pulled the trigger, and the 
target went away.  Ataru simply lusted after it.  Too bad it didn't make a 
loud noise or something.

Megane had a flamethrower.  Guess he didn't like the snow, and was hoping 
to drive the demon outside where the others could kill it.  Mendo had 
already offered to pay for any damages to the house.  Megane also had 
twelve more grenades than the rest of the group put together.  Ataru 
didn't really like the flamethrower.  He had enough problems with 
flamethrowers, already.

They each had a minimum of four grenades and were dressed in kevlar from 
head to toe.  The winter gear was packed in the jeep, along with other 
weapons.  There were extra clips and grenades for everyone who needed or 
wanted them.  Once fully equipped and certain they could still move 
around, they piled into Mendo's jeep and started off.  

"Stop giggling, Moroboshi."

"Sorry." he giggled.

*   *   *

Megane, Kakugari, Chibi, and Pama were assembled together outside of 
Megane's house.  Megane's story was incredible, and they were at first 
reluctant to believe any of it.  But when Mendo started handing out 
weapons, they greedily decided the story was irrelevant.  Now that they 
were here, in front of the actual Lair of a Demon, common sense and fear 
was returning.

All except Megane stared fearfully at the house.  They clutched their 
weapons together and whined in unison.

"Why do you need us again?" complained Chibi.  

Megane adjusted his glasses.  "We are here for the sake of Lum-san.  An 
evil spirit rests within this house.  Through dark sorcery it has enslaved 
her and Miss Sakura, and it is our holy duty to free them from this evil."

"But why does it have to be US?  Can't we leave this to the army, or 
something?"

There was a pause.  Megane turned away.  "I cannot stop you.  If you wish 
to leave, if you choose to forsake your duty placed before you by God, 
then it is your right."

The others breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"However!" he continued.

They tensed up again.

"If I cannot count on your support, if you choose to run and hide..."  
Megane turned around suddenly, looming over them.  The flamethrower 
managed to point at all of them at once.

"You will be branded a COWARD!" Megane screamed.  "The penalty for 
cowardice is DEATH!" 

"We'll do it!  We'll do it!" they cried.

*   *   *

The house wasn't really a big house.  Nevertheless, as soon as they were 
inside, they were hit by the compelling urge to split up and wander around 
aimlessly.  Lum's stormtroopers went one way, Ataru, Lum, and Mendo went 
another.  Mendo took the lead, followed by Lum and Ataru.  There was about 
an inch of snow covering the floor, but it wasn't as cold as Ataru 
expected.  He caressed his gun lovingly.  By feeding his desire, he 
completely overwhelmed his fear.  If he didn't have the weapon, he 
probably wouldn't have been able to function.  It was exceptionally 
effective.

He kicked something and looked down, puzzled.  The thing was feeding on 
cats?

"There!" shouted Mendo.

Ataru looked up and spotted it easily.  It had apparently just rounded the 
corner down the hall.  It was about four feet tall, covered in white fur, 
and looked more like a horse than anything else.  When it saw them, it 
reared back and roared, its head brushing the ceiling, claws extended.

Ataru and Lum raised their weapons.  Mendo screamed a war cry and charged, 
swinging his katana in an arc.  "The situation calls for explosive 
rounds..." Ataru thought.  He flipped a switch.

SHING!

The monster's head flew off and bounced lazily along the corridor.  It 
came to rest at Ataru's feet.  The expression on its face was of complete 
shock.  It matched the look on Ataru's face.

Ataru swore in frustration.  "Aww man!  I didn't get to fire it once!"  
He glared at Mendo.

Mendo laughed softly.  He struck a pose and slid the blade home without 
looking.  "Well, that was easy."  He pulled out a mirror and admired 
himself.  He grinned.

"Yeah.  Too easy."

Then they heard a distant rumbling.  The air was filled with screams of 
pain, rage, and fear, and then automatic weapons followed by explosions.  
They looked at each other in alarm.  "There must be more of them!" 
shouted Lum.  Together they raced down the hallway, Ataru in the lead.

*   *   *

Lum's stormtroopers trudged along.  They had stopped for supplies at the 
kitchen, although the food did little to boost sagging morale.  The three 
were grouped together in front with Megane "watching their back."  Fear of 
Megane kept their minds off Fear of the Demon.

Megane brought them to the gate.  It was completely black, rectangular, 
and set mid air in the living room.  Megane knew it had to be at least 
twenty five feet up, but with the snow it had been expelling, there was a 
base of snow beneath it.  It lead up at a steep incline to the gate.

The roar of the beast echoed throughout the house.  They raised their 
weapons and looked around wildly, listening in vain for the sounds of 
weapons going off to deal with the monster.  "I didn't hear anyone firing.  
It must have killed them!" said Kakugari.

"Its speed must be beyond belief!" 

"We're all going to diiie!"

"SILENCE!" Megane thundered.  He paused.  "Did you hear that?"  There was 
indeed a noise coming from the direction of the gate.  They swung their 
weapons around.  The snow was racing toward them.

"AVALANCHE!" they screamed as one.

The four emptied their weapons into the wave approaching them.  Snow flew 
everywhere.  Megane's flamethrower bought them the precious moments they 
needed to think about how useless the guns were and use the grenades 
instead.  

"God and Lum-san!" screamed Megane, the fires of fanaticism burning in his 
eyes.

Within seconds, it was all over.  The four stood victorious.  The room was 
filled with water and patches of snow.  The air was thick with smoke and a 
maniacal victory laugh from Megane.  

"I think you caught me with that thing, Megane." whined Chibi.  His coat 
was singed.  

"You're alive.  That's what counts."

Ataru peeked around the corner.  "You guys done?"  He ducked back when 
they swung weapons around toward him.

The group relaxed.  "Yeah.  We're done." said Megane wearily.  "Any sign 
of the Demon?"

"Mendo killed it."  Ataru sounded disgusted.

"Well that's good!"

"Well, I guess so." admitted Ataru.

They looked up toward the gate, still hovering in place.  Lum flew closer.  
"I can carry you in one at a time."

"That would work.  I suggest that Megane's group stay here in case there 
are more of them." offered Mendo.

Megane and Ataru both nodded agreement.  The others were still frozen in 
shock, trying to get over that last statement.

"Agreed.  We'll meet you back outside here at five tonight," said Megane.

Lum flew down and picked up Ataru by the back of his coat.  She ascended 
to the gate and tossed him in.  "There you go!"

Ataru landed in a snow bank seconds later.  He got to his feet and started 
to look around, when Mendo slammed into him from behind.  Lum glided in 
next and came to a stop above him.  Grumbling, he shoved Mendo away and 
got up again.  

It was much colder on this side.  The wind was blowing constantly.  Ataru 
pulled his coat around tighter against the chill.  They seemed to be on a 
hillside overlooking a plain.  Lum pulled out a map.  "Oyuki's palace is 
over there." she announced, pointing.  Together they walked silently down 
the path.

"We should mark this spot so we can find the gate again." suggested Mendo.

"Already done."  Lum lifted into view an Alien Device.  It beeped a couple 
times for No Reason that Ataru could figure out.  She put it away.

Within half an hour, they were approached by a half dozen 'transports.'  
Ataru couldn't think of them as cars.  Each were piloted by two women 
each.  They recognized Lum instantly on sight, and recognized Ataru by 
reputation.  Ataru felt insulted.  They agreed to take them to the palace.  
Ataru sulked the entire way.

Oyuki met them at the entrance.  Lum and Oyuki were barely past the 
greetings when Ataru vaulted himself onto Oyuki.  "Did you miss me?  I 
thought only of you constantly!"  He rubbed himself against her.  Oyuki 
just looked shocked.

"Darling, where did this come from?" asked Lum.

Ataru turned.  Lum was holding a giant sized mallet easily in one hand.  
She stared at it in puzzlement, and smiled at Ataru.  She tossed it 
casually over her shoulder.

"Ow!"  Mendo rubbed his head and glared.

"Sorry."

"What's wrong with Lum?" asked Oyuki.

"That's the reason why we came here.  It all happened a month ago..."

"Moroboshi."

"Yes, Mendo?"

"Could you let go of her, please?"

"Oh.  Ok."  He released her and backed away.  
 
"Anyway, it all started a month ago..."

*   *   *

Sake was served to everyone.  While they relaxed, Ataru finished his 
story.  Oyuki remained silent as Mendo and Megane added their own versions 
of reality.  She looked thoughtful.

"That explains a lot." she said, "There have been disappearances locally 
for around a month.  We thought it due to the theft of a certain magical 
artifact we had in our keeping.  It is said to possess the spirit of a 
powerful sorcerer, and was considered evil.

"The creature you describe is called a Myssama.  We use them as pets and 
guardians.  They can be fierce fighters, but they shouldn't attack people 
unless provoked."  She whistled loudly, and half a dozen of the things 
came charging in from every direction.  Ataru and Mendo scrambled to their 
feet in alarm.

Oyuki scratched one of the Myssama behind the ears.  It purred loudly.  
"Aren't they cute?"

The two sat back down.

"As for finding your missing friend, it should be easy."

Ataru changed the subject.  "So if Sakura has this item, then it's 
controlling her?"

"Yes, that would make sense."

"How do you stop it?"

"Stopping the item itself is easy.  Stopping the guards protecting it that 
it has in its control is the problem.  If it is feeding Sakura power, then 
she would be the one you would have to worry about.  Once she is overcome, 
then the item would need to find another user before it could influence 
people again."

"Why would it want a permanent gate to Neptune?" asked Lum.

"Perhaps it thought it could need an escape route.  You all know each 
other, so it picked your house as the closest?  I really don't know."  She 
shook her head sadly.  "The poor Myssama was probably left to starve.  If 
it couldn't get proper food, it would have to hunt people.  Their food 
only exists in certain parts of the world.  You have no reason to look for 
it on your side, and we couldn't find it on our side."

"Why didn't you set a trap for it or something?" 

"Myssama tend to hoard their food.  It collected them all at once.  It 
wouldn't have hunted again for months."

"Could you do something about Lum-san's condition?" asked Mendo.

"I don't think so.  A sorcerer or priest should be able to counter it 
given time.  Magic by definition isn't a science."

Mendo thought about this.  "You know, it seems the spell may be wearing 
down.  If you got her really angry, she might be able to break the 
enchantment herself."

"And while she's in such a rage she rips through the control and rips me 
to pieces right afterwards.  Forget it, Mendo.  Nice try."

Dammit, Mendo thought angrily.  He saw right through that!

"So, we need to rescue Cherry," concluded Lum.

The others grumbled.

Oyuki took them to another room with a huge screen embedded in the wall.  
She adjusted the settings.  "This will find any foreign objects in local 
subspace.  We'll stop once we find him."  The wall opened a hatch and bits 
and pieces of things started falling out.  There were a couple new aliens 
Ataru never saw, lots of alien items, a can opener, a tv set, and a 
strange black rune encrusted sword that started howling.

A teenage Japanese boy fell out an instant before Cherry.  He had an 
umbrella and was wearing a backpack and a black and yellow bandanna.  
He shoved Cherry aside and got up.  "Excuse me, but is this Tokyo?  Could 
you direct me to the Tendo Dojo?" he asked the others in general.

"We'll be heading that direction shortly.  You can come with us," supplied 
Ataru.

"Thanks."  He looked around in curiosity and pulled out a map.

"Cherry!  Wake up!"  Ataru kicked him softly.  

"Perhaps if he smelled food?" supplied Lum.  "Its worth a try."

"Ok.  Mendo, you carry him."  They set off before he could argue, headed 
toward the kitchen.  The instant the smell of food was apparent, Cherry 
woke up.  The next few minutes were spent explaining the story yet again 
as Cherry fed himself.

"Most ominous."

"Can you do something about Lum's condition?" asked Mendo.

Cherry peered at her.  "There is indeed an enchantment on her.  With my 
powers, it should be simple.  But all I could do is suppress it for a 
time.  This item needs to be destroyed, its evil contained."  He took 
another bite of food.  "Now that I know about the source, I can bring my 
powers to bear directly against it.  All you would need to do is get it 
away from her before the spell failed."

"Then let's go.  We still have to meet Megane and the others," said Ataru.

*   *   *

They took the transports to the gate by the hillside.  From a distance, it 
was virtually invisible.  Oyuki mentioned that this gate was different 
somehow.  Whoever created it knew exactly what they were doing, and took 
extra time to hide it from any means of detection.  If they didn't know 
the gate was there, they might never have found it.  

Ataru went first, followed by Mendo, Cherry, and Lum.  As soon as he leapt 
through, Ataru remembered the gate on the other side was twenty feet above 
ground.  He screamed the entire way, slamming into the ground hard.  An 
instant later, Mendo crashed into him.  Cherry managed a full circle flip 
and landed on his feet, using Mendo's head as a springboard.  "Ta-daa!"

"Get off of me!"

"Don't blame me for this!"

As they gathered their fallen weapons, Lum pointed a device at the gate.  
It fired a black beam that shrank the gate to nothing.  "That solves that 
problem," she declared.  "Lets get outside."

The house seemed more damaged than before.  Everywhere they looked was 
evidence of a vast struggle.  On their way out, they could find no other 
bodies beyond the first.  When they got outside, the gang of four was 
standing around arguing.

"Hey!  How many of those things did you guy get?" called Ataru.

They looked annoyed.  "None."

"What, none?  None at all?  Is that what you're trying to say?  Honestly?" 
he teased.

Weapons swivelled around in his direction.  Not pointing, but close 
enough.  "That's right.  Is there something wrong with that?" asked Megane 
quietly.

Ataru raised his hands.  "No!  Not at all.  Turns out those things were 
kept as pets."

Megane was incredulous.  "Pets?!"

"Yeah.  They like carrots -- and human flesh, if they can't get enough of 
those.  Weird, huh?"

Mendo spoke up.  "Enough of this.  We need to get going if we're going to 
free Sakura and Lum."  The others climbed into the waiting jeep.  Mendo 
pulled out a phone and started giving out commands.

"Mendo, we need more grenades."

He looked over, irritated.  "You were carrying at least twenty with you!"

"Yeah, but, I ran out.  Those things go fast!"

"Got anymore of those phosphorous rounds?"

"NO!"  He went back to his phone conversation.

"How about a LAWS rocket?"

"I want a stinger missile!"

"I want another Disrupter Pulse Launcher!  And more ammo!"

"What do you mean, another?" this from Ataru.

"They're pretty bulky.  I dropped the last one because my backpack was 
full, and was using the sonic pistol because I heard noises behind the 
wall, and I needed a quick short range weapon."

"Sonic cannons are better.  They're more accurate, too."

"At least I didn't bring the hydro-jet cannon.  You think there's any 
water around here?"

"What's a disrupter pulse launcher?

"Who's the idiot who brought the heavy gauss rifle?  Those things are for 
wimps!"

"You moron!  That noise behind the wall was me!  You could have killed me!

"What's a disrupter pulse launcher, dammit!?"

"They're great!  You program where you want the shell to go, and it turns 
around corners and BOOM!  Blows up better than the grenades!"

"That was my HOUSE you were tearing down!"

"Don't blame me!  You were the one tossing in dye grenades at every 
opportunity.  Who the hell uses dye grenades, anyway?  Sonic Pulser 
grenades obscure just as much, and kill things, too!"

"You think I wanted to destroy my own house?  Besides, the particle 
disturbance detector found something.  We had to be cautious."

"That was ME!  I thought maybe the demons were using weapons"

"That explains why they fired back.  That was you?"

"Yes!"  

"Good thing we were there to heal you afterwards, huh?"

"All of you, just shut up!  We're almost there!"

They were silent for a while.  

"At least I didn't panic." whispered Chibi.

"You went berserk!  That's worse than panicking!  I nearly had to kill you 
to stop you from killing us!  Do you realize the guilt I would have felt 
if I had to shoot you down like a mad dog?"

"You shot me with the thermal shok launcher!"

"It's a stun weapon!  What are you complaining about?  Besides, the damn 
thing's ammo was taking up too much space in my backpack."

"So you used it on me?!"

"I had to!  And it's not as if you were the only victim.  Poor Pama got 
caught in that blast, too!"

"So THAT'S what happened!  I thought I passed out from carrying all this 
stuff!"

"Will ALL of you just SHUT UP!"

The car screeched to a stop.  Everyone got out, argued over weapons, and 
eventually arranged themselves into a group.  "Alright.  What's the plan?" 
asked Ataru.

There was silence.

"Anyway, I didn't panic.  I just dropped my gun."

"You dropped your gun and ran away from it!  You were panicking!"

"I was NOT!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled the group.

Sakura walked outside.  She was closely followed by Ran and Benten.  The 
darkness seemed to get darker.  They smiled.  "Ah, my dear departed uncle 
has returned from the dead to challenge me.  Do you really think you have 
a chance against me, Uncle?"

Cherry produced his karma beads, waving them threatingly.  "And so it..." 
he began.

"Kill them!" she interrupted.  Ran and Benten whipped out bazookas and 
opened fire.  As one, the gang of four dropped their weapons, screamed 
high pitched screams in unison, and ran off in different directions.  Lum 
took to the air, and Ataru dived behind Mendo's jeep.  The two girls fired 
again and again into it.  The car jumped and was thrown around, but it 
never exploded.

"Get away from that car, Moroboshi!" shrieked Mendo.

Cherry coughed.  "Sakura, now I shall..."

The jeep detonated.  "Darling!" Lum screamed.  Ran and Benten stopped 
their assault, then turned and fired at Cherry.  He vanished into the 
smoke.  They fired half a dozen shots each, and stopped.

"Well.  That's it, then," said Sakura.  The smoke cleared, and Cherry 
stood there.  He was a little singed, but looked like he avoided the worst 
of it.  He cleared his throat.  "It seems that..."

Mendo was suddenly there.  He smacked Cherry across the head with the hilt 
of his sword.  "Enough with the speeches already!  Use your magic, 
dammit!"  The attacks came in again, and the resulting explosions threw 
them both aside.

Lum was down by the burning jeep.  She frantically threw bits and pieces 
aside, trying not to cry.  "Darling!  Please be ok!  Darling!"

Ataru suddenly rose from the ashes.  He turned to Lum and smiled.  "I have 
a plan, Lum.  Get clear.  Watch for my signal.  I'll be ok."  Without 
another word, he walked forward.

Sakura looked surprised to see him.  "So, you survived.  Lets see you 
survive this."  She snapped her fingers, and the two girls shifted their 
weapons toward him.  

Ataru laughed.  Sakura was so astonished she forgot to order the girls to 
fire.  The laughter died away.  "You're a fool to attack me.  Do you think 
I can be killed by a pretty girl?  I may feel some pain, but their 
attention can only strengthen me!  I have more life than you could 
possibly crush.  I am a hentai master!  You cannot defeat me!"

Lum snickered, but fortunately no one heard.  

Ataru continued to stare at the three.  He fed his desire to banish his 
fear, and tried to convince himself that he actually did have some power.  
He did heal supernaturally quickly, and his senses were beyond human norm, 
but he did feel physical pain.  This was all a bluff, but if Sakura 
believed it, then she might get Ran and Benten out of danger, if only to 
avoid unintentionally giving her enemy power.

They fired, and Ataru nimbly dodged each shot.  He smirked.  "Is that the 
best you can do?"  

Sakura thought about this.  Ataru was a definite power source, and she 
didn't want it turned against her.  There was an off chance that he could 
be right.  No matter.  She had power of her own.  She snapped her fingers, 
and Ran and Benten fled.

"How about THIS?"  Sakura raised her arms and began a spell.  The shadows 
seemed to gather together to coalesce into humanoid forms.  She continued 
her chant.  Fifteen of the little monsters ought to be sufficient.  They 
would rend him to pieces.

"Now!" Mendo yelled into his phone.  When nothing happened, Ataru ran 
over.  "What did you do, Mendo?  Give the order to bomb the entire 
neighborhood?"

"Of course not!  Smart bombs are more and more accurate every day."

BOOM!  The house detonated.  Sakura was thrown forward.  She landed 
fifteen feet away, and the spirits began to disperse.  Ataru lost a moment 
or two due to the surprise attack.  He raced forward to Sakura before she 
could recover, and quickly searched.

"I got it!  I got it!  Its mine!"  Giggling maniacally, Ataru raced down 
the street in a zigzag route.  Cherry jumped into his path.  "You fool!  
If you keep the item it will corrupt you.  Drop it before it destroys 
you!"

"No!  I don't want to!  Its MINE!"  He clutched Sakura's bra to his chest 
protectively.

"Not that item!  The other one!"

"Oh.  Ok!"  He tossed the glowing amulet aside.  He wasn't even sure why 
he bothered to pick it up originally.  "But I get to keep the other one!  
Yes!  Now no one can challenge me!  I'll be a true hentai master!"  Ataru 
broke into laughter and he waved the garment in the air in a clenched 
fist.

"Hmm.  Maybe that was the item after all."

ZAK!

"Agh." said Ataru.  He stood motionless for a second, blackened from head 
to toe by the lightning strike.  He looked to the bra, which even now 
crumbled to ash into the wind.  He sank to his knees.  "Nooo!"  

Lum landed next to him.  "Cheer up, Darling.  You don't need that thing.  
You have me, after all."

*   *   *

Sakura was gone as soon as she recovered.  She remembered everything, and 
couldn't believe that she could sink so low.  She almost seemed afraid of 
Ataru.  

Benten was next.  She packed her things and was out the door without a 
word.  She seemed more embarrassed than anything else.  Ataru wasn't 
necessarily sad to see her go.  She was pretty sadistic, and her idea of 
entertainment was a lot more painful and potentially fatal than what he 
was used to.  He thought that perhaps he could get used to it, but when he 
thought about it, he realized it probably would have killed him.  The 
novelty wore off quickly.  Besides, he had no say in the matter.  She was 
already gone.  Good riddance.

Ran was in full cute mode.  "I'm so sorry Lum-chan. That dreadful item 
made me do so many hateful things.  You know I would never do anything to 
hurt my dear childhood friend.  I tried to resist it!  I really tried!  
But it was too strong.  Of course, you weren't exactly helping."

Lum growled.  "What do you mean by that?!" she demanded.

"But its true, Lum-chan!  You provoked me at every turn!  How was I 
supposed to resist when you're so cruel to me?"  She paused to cry, 
stopping when she realized her audience wasn't buying it.  "I would never 
have resorted to bombs and black magic and that poisonous snake if you 
hadn't been so mean to me.  Why do you have to be so mean?"

"What poisonous snake?!"

"Oh.  Nothing.  Bye-Bye, Lum-chan!"  Ran skipped out the door.

"Ran!  Get back here!"

As for Lum, Ataru suspected she was back to normal, but he had yet to test 
the theory.  Except for Shinobu, Lum was the most normal of the group.  
Lum never said anything about the other girls.  He thought she was trying 
to forget, but then remembered she was always this way.  She stopped him 
when she could, but afterwards, she was the first to forgive.

If nothing else, due to the influence of the item, they had moved to 
intimacy.  That was definitely a plus.  She was exceptionally exotic, 
beautiful, and was devoted to him.  "Guess I'm stuck with you."

"Poor Darling."

Lum gently turned his head aside and licked his neck.  Ataru lay back and 
enjoyed the moment.  Things weren't so bad.  In fact, they were looking 
better all the time.  Lum gently broke away, looked into his eyes, reared 
her head back, and sank her fangs into his throat.

The scream was clearly heard downstairs.  Ataru's parents were lying in 
bed, side by side, staring at the ceiling.  "They're so noisy!" Ataru's 
mother said.

"They're young and energetic.  They'll grow out of it."

"What if the neighbors hear?  That was louder than before.  If only we 
could afford to soundproof their room..."

Ataru's father turned away and pulled the covers up over his head.

She sighed.  "I never should have had him."

*   *   *

Ataru was backed into a corner.  He held the silver crucifix at arms 
length in a two-handed death grip.  "Stay away from me!" he shrieked.  
"Just stay back!"

Lum floated out of bed.  There was enough moonlight to see everything.  
She was gorgeous, but Ataru couldn't help noticing the blood on her mouth.  
HIS blood.  He shuddered involuntarily.  

"What's wrong, Darling?  Did I hurt you?"  She looked puzzled.  "Why are 
you acting this way?"  She reached up and wiped the blood away, licking 
her fingers.  She made no move to advance.  She just stood there and 
looked beautiful.  Ataru just stared.

After a few minutes, Ataru calmed down.  He lowered the crucifix.  "You 
just surprised me, that's all." he admitted.  "Is there anything else 
about your species that I should know about?"

She shrugged.  "I can't think of anything. I would never try to 
intentionally hurt you, Darling.  Unless you really deserved it.  But you 
haven't been girl-chasing for a long time.  Hasn't it been better, 
recently?"

Ataru looked suspicious.  "You're not going to devour me afterwards or 
anything, are you?"

"Don't be silly!"

"Good."

"We dropped that custom years ago."

There was a pause.  "Oh."

"I'm kidding, Darling."

He nodded slowly.  "Sure."

She smiled.  "Come back to bed."  She held out her hand.

Ataru gave in.  This wasn't nearly so bad as Benten's knives.  There were 
an awful lot of erotic vampire movies out there, so he couldn't deny an 
interest.  He took her hand, and they embraced.  Lum shifted her attention 
to his throat.  She licked at the wound until it started flowing freely 
again.

Ataru felt giddy.  He held her and listened.  She was obviously enjoying 
herself.  The air seemed to shimmer.  "Why do I feel so strange?" he 
asked.

Lum broke away.  Her lips were stained crimson.  "It's the venom kicking 
in.  A mild hallucinogenic.  Keeps them from running away."

"I ran away."

"You didn't get far."

A few seconds went by as Ataru thought about this.  "True enough."

A few minutes later, "This isn't going to kill me, is it?  You're not 
trying to make me immortal, are you?"

"If you want, I can make you some Catharsis tomorrow.  It's made with 
Mermaid's flesh.  I think there's a few still swimming around on this 
planet.  They're supposed to make you live forever.  I've got the recipe."  
Lum looked smug.

"Ahhmm, no thanks."

*   *   *

Meanwhile, on Neptune:

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!?!"

-End

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The weapons used by the Lum's stormtroopers were taken from X-Com, 
Terror from the Deep.  Its one of the more addicting games.  Still fun
years after its creation.

-Jeff Judkins  Dec 97