C&C welcome!  gaffney@iconn.net is the addy.

***

Hammer to Fall

by Sean Gaffney

All characters (C) 1997, Rumiko Takahashi, except one cameo (C) 
1997 Masaki Kajishima.


	"BAKA!!!"
 
	*wham*

	"Ouch!  Akane, you tomboy..."

	Ranma was muttering from his present position, buried 
halfway through the dining room wall.  Nabiki barely even looked up 
as she sat there eating and reading her manga.  Kasumi, coming in 
with tea, said, "Oh, my.  Did Akane hit you again?"
     
	Ranma crawled out from the wall.  "Yeah, she hit me again.  
Kawaikunee..."
     
	Nabiki smirked.  "It's interesting that one of the best martial 
artists in the country is constantly beaten by a girl with a mallet. 
Are you trying to get hit, Ranma?"
     
	Ranma's eyes blazed.  "It ain't that!  You've never been on the 
receiving end of that mallet, Nabiki!  She gets it out of nowhere!  I 
mean, how can a girl who can't even hit me when she tries with 
normal martial arts suddenly whack me with a mallet?"
     
	Ranma frowned.  "Come to think of it, where _does_ she get 
that mallet?  Can you two do that?"
     
	Nabiki laughed.  "If I could produce mallets from thin air, 
Ranma, I would not be sitting in this rundown dojo.  I have no idea 
how she does it.  Even before you got here, she malleted Kuno or 
Gosunkugi..."
     
	Kasumi was sitting at the table with a serious look on her 
face.  "I believe I know how she does it.  She told me this, but I...I 
didn't believe her.  It seemed so strange at the time, and she was only 
seven years old.  Of course, now that we've dealt with such 
strangeness every day, it doesn't come as that much of a shock."  She 
looked at Ranma cheerfully.  "My goodness, Ranma, you've
certainly brought a great deal of excitement to our household!"
     
	"Yeah, thanks, Kasumi."  Ranma was not especially thrilled 
with his life at the moment.  "So what did Akane tell you had 
happened?"
     
	Kasumi's face grew serious again, enough to make Nabiki 
stop eating.  "It was about a year after our mother died.  Akane...was 
not dealing with it very well.  None of us took Mother's death well.  
Father was crying constantly, much more than he does now.  I was 
rarely out of the kitchen, cooking and cleaning in an effort to deal 
with the pain.  Nabiki..."  Kasumi looked at her sister, whose face was 
turned to the ground, "was also not doing well.  But Akane was 
probably the most dangerous.  She would take to running away, 
convinced that Mother was out there somewhere, and that all she had 
to do was find her."
     
	Kasumi paused again, the emotions temporarily overwhelming 
her.  Ranma, showing more sense than usual, was silent.  After a 
pause, she went on.     

	"She was dropped off that evening by a Shinto priestess.  
She'd gone almost all the way across town.  The strange thing was, she 
wasn't angry or upset, as she had been.  She was excited and happy.  I 
went to her room to ask her why, and she told me what had 
happened..."


***

     Nine years ago.

     	Akane was running down the street, looking constantly 
around her in an effort to find her mother.  She had to be there, she'd 
just run off.  The others had given up, but Akane would find her.  She 
just had to keep looking.
     
	She was interrupted from her search by a flying, charred body 
impacting with a nearby brick wall.  Startled, she stared as it slid to 
the ground.  Then suddenly, it seemed to get better, shaking off the 
dust and bruises as if they were water.  Now Akane could see it was a 
rather plain-looking man, about high-school age.  He had a lecherous 
look on his face that scared Akane, but as he turned to look at her it 
went away.
     
	"Hey, are you okay?" he asked her.
     
	She looked defiant.  How dare anyone suggest that!  She was fine.  "I'm
fine!!"  she shouted at the man.
     
	"OK, no need to get mad at me.  Shouldn't you be at school?  
Or are you with your parents?"
     
	Akane could feel the grief welling up inside her again.  
"P-parents?"
     
The man looked a little wary.  "Yeah, y'know, your mom and dad..."
     
	Suddenly Akane couldn't hold it in any more.  She fell to the 
ground with a wail, sobbing piteously.  "Oh, Mommy, I miss you so 
much!  When are you coming home?  MOMMY!!!"

***

     	Ataru Moroboshi found himself, for a change, at a loss for 
words.  The young girl had collaped on the sidewalk, and was crying 
out for her mother.  The way she kept asking when she was coming 
home made Ataru's stomach sink.  The girl's mother must be dead.  
Damn, what do I do now?
     
	Ataru generally did not get along well with children.  Too 
much exposure to Ten had ensured that.  Yet despite that his heart 
went out to this little girl, and he found himself wrapping his arms 
around her.  "Hey, it's okay, don't worry.  Are you lost?"
     
	The girl momentarily stopped her sobbing.  "I'm not lost!"  
She then looked around, bewildered.  "I just...don't know where I am."
     
	"Well, you're in Tomobiki.  Do you know where that is?"
     
	Akane's eyes widened.  "I think Daddy mentioned it once.  I 
wonder how I got here?"
    
	Ataru winced.  She sounded as if she was a long way from 
home.  This was going to be difficult.  "Tell you what, why don't I 
help you get home?  I know a woman who can find out where you live.  
She's a priestess, and very good at things like that!"
     
	The girl's eyes widened.  "A priestess?  Wooooww..."
     
	Ataru grinned, and grasped her hand.  "C'mon, she's just a 
block or two down the road.  By the way, what's your name?"
     
	"Tendou Akane."
     
	"Well, Akane-chan, I'm Moroboshi Ataru, and..."
     
	Ataru looked down the road, and noticed Lum and Mendou 
headed towards him.  They did not look very happy.  *Great, just what 
I needed.*  Out loud he said, "Don't worry, we'll get you home."
     
	Akane merely started crying again.  "I don't _wanna_ go 
home!  Not without Mommy!"  She started to sob, and hugged herself 
against his legs.
     
	At this point Lum flew down, her anger replaced by curiosity.  
"Darling, who is this?"
     
	"She says her name's Akane Tendou.  I think she's gotten 
really lost - "
     
	At this point Ataru leaped back into the air, barely avoiding 
Mendou's katana as it thrust through the air.  Mendou tried again, and 
this time Ataru stopped it using his hands.  "What do you want, 
Mendou?"
     
	Mendou was livid, trying to cut through Ataru's palms with 
his sword.  "As if it is not enough that you betray Lum-san with 
women of your own age, now you have resorted to pedophilia!  You cur!"
     
	Ataru's eyes narrowed.  Suddenly Mendou found his head 
buried under a mallet.  "I may be a lech, but I do _NOT_ go after little 
kids!"  Lum then zapped Mendou for good measure.  "How dare you 
suggest that about my darling!"
     
	Ataru turned to Akane, and found her looking wide-eyed at 
both him and Lum.  "How did you _do_ that?!"
     
	Ataru was puzzled.  "Do what?"
     
	"She made lightning right out of her hands!  And you made a 
mallet appear from thin air!"
     
	Ataru laughed.  "Oh, Lum's an alien!  She can do lots of those 
things! Lum, say hi."
     
	Lum looked down at the girl, still gaping at her.  "Hello there! My
name's Lum!"
     
	Akane was filled with questions.  "Are those horns on your 
head?  And can you really throw lightning?"
     
	Lum smiled.  "Datcha!  I can fly too, see?"  Lum twirled in 
the air, demonstrating.
     
	Akane's eyes glittered.  "Woooooow!  And are you an alien 
too?" she asked, turning to Ataru.
     
	Ataru laughed.  "Nope.  I've lived here in Tomobiki all my 
life!"
     
	Now Akane was puzzled.  "Then how did you make the 
mallet appear?"
     
	"Well, I just -- " Ataru began to answer, and then stopped as 
he realized that he didn't know where he got them.  They were just 
always in his hand when he needed them.  He turned to Lum.  "Lum, 
where do you get your mallets?"     

	Lum frowned.  "Well, Onis have always been able to get 
mallets and things like that from other dimensions.  That's where 
Ran gets her bazookas too.  But I don't know why you can do it, 
Darling.  In fact, almost everyone we know can do it, datcha?"
     
	Mendou was getting up.  "Moroboshi!  How dare you attack 
a scion of the Mendou house!  Prepare to -- "
     
	He was brought up short by Akane, who ran up and kicked 
him in the shins.  "I don't like you!"
     
	Ataru grinned as Mendou hopped around.  "That's Shutarou 
Mendou.  He's not very likeable, is he?"
     
	Suddenly, everyone was startled by a crowd of people 
surrounding Mendou.
     
	"There's a girl that doesn't like Mendou?!?"
     
	"That's impossible!"
     
	"Mendou, what did you do to her?"
     
	Mendou was backing away from the crowd, waving his 
hands.  "I-I didn't do anything to her!"
     
	Ataru decided now would be a good time to leave.  "C'mon, 
Lum.  We're taking Akane-chan to Sakura-chan to see if she can help 
her get home."
     
	As they left, Mendou continued to be peppered with 
comments.  "He must have done something really horrible to that girl!"
     
	"But *every* girl loves Mendou?  What's different about this 
one?"
     
	"My god, it's full of stars!"
     
	A Dappya appeared.  "It's the Apocalypse!"

***

     Sakura was startled.  Ataru was coming to her shrine, and wasn't 
running towards her with a glazed look in his eyes.  Furthermore, 
there was a small girl with him, who looked as if she'd been crying.
     
	Ataru looked at Sakura seriously.  "I owe you a grope later, 
but we have something more important right now.  This girl is lost."
     
	Akane piped up again.  "I told you, I'm not lost!  I'm in 
Tomobiki!"
     
	Ataru crouched down by her.  "I told you that.  But where do 
you live?  Do you live in Tomobiki?  Can you find your way back home 
from here?"
     
	Akane burst out in tears again.  "I don't wanna go home!  I 
have to find Mommy!"
     
	"Oh, no..." Ataru said.  " He turned to Sakura.  "She's been 
like this since I found her.  I think her mother may be dead...what are 
you doing?"
     
	Sakura had gathered Lum and Akane behind her and was 
waving at Ataru with her wards.  "You haven't groped me once, and 
you're concerned about others?  You're not the real Ataru!"  She began 
to chant.
     
	Ataru shouted at her.  "Would you knock it off!"
     
	Akane, whose mood changed as often as the average 
seven-year-old's, was staring at Ataru in amazement.  "If you're mad 
at her, why don't you use your mallet?"
     
	Ataru had the grace to look affronted.  "I don't hit women," he 
said crossly.
     
	Lum remembered what they had been talking about earlier.  
"Sakura-san, Akane-chan was asking about where Darling gets his 
mallets.  Do you know why Earth people are able to use them?"
     
	Sakura blinked, startled by the change of topic.  "Hm?  The 
mallets?  Probably just another effect of you living here, Lum."
     
	Now both Lum and Ataru looked puzzled.  "What do you 
mean, Sakura-chan?" Ataru asked.
     
	Sakura smiled.  "Akane-chan," she said, turning to the girl, 
"do you know of anyone who can lift trees out of the ground and throw 
them at people? Or who can recover from injuries in less than the 
blink of an eye?"
     
	Akane's eyes widened.  "No."
     
	Sakura turned back to the others.  "We've become so used to 
these things that we've forgotten that they aren't normal.  This sort of 
thing has happened only since Lum has been here.  That's where 
everyone gets their mallets, where Shinobu gets her strength.  Ataru, 
you don't seriously believe that you could normally catch Mendou's 
katana in your hands?"
     
	Ataru frowned.  "But why does it happen?  Is it some scientific 
thing?"
     
	Suddenly, to everyone's surprise, a chalkboard was rolled in, 
followed by a young girl with wild red hair.  She started drawing on the 
board.  "It's very simple.  Lum's presence here, even more than the 
other aliens, is a textbook case of the chaos theory.  The neighborhood 
of Tomobiki is doing its best to cope with this by extending some of 
Lum's strange abilities to everyone in the area.  In this way, the 
extraordinary things that happen here are merely seen as just another 
day in the life of Tomobiki.  Whenever Lum leaves Tomobiki for an 
extended period, the powers go away."
  
	She finished drawing with a flourish, and rolled the board 
away again.  "Sorry for the interruption, but it looked like you needed 
a genius to help explain things to you!"  Just as quickly, she was gone.
     
	The others stared after her.  Ataru broke the silence.  
"Aaaaa-nyway, getting back to the point, Sakura-chan, this girl needs 
to get home.  Is there any way you can track down where she lives?"
     
	Sakura frowned.  "There is a way to trace the family lines 
back to her house.  We'll need my crystal ball."
     
	Ataru moaned.  "Not again..."
     
	They moved into the inner sanctum, where a crystal ball sat.  
Ataru could have sworn it glared at him.
     
	"I don't see why you have a problem with my crystal ball..."
     
	"The last time we used that thing, it led to the Second Tag 
Race!  It only predicts gloom and doom!" Ataru sniped.
     
	Lum tried to stop them.  "Akane-chan, Sakura-san is going 
to help you find your family!  Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
     
	Akane brightened.  "I have Kasumi-neechan and 
Nabiki-neechan!"
     
	Sakura nodded.  "Excellent.  The presence of siblings will 
probably help offset the absence of her mother -- "
     
	Sakura clamped her hands over her mouth, but it was too 
late.  Akane was crying again.  "Mommy!  Why did you go away, 
Mommy!  I don't wanna go home unless Mommy's with me!"
     
	Ataru sat down next to Akane.  Something needed to be done 
here, the girl was getting hysterical.  "But Akane-chan, what about the 
rest of your family?  You still have your Daddy, right?  And you two 
sisters?  Don't you think they're worried about you?"
     
	Akane frowned, her tears cutting off again.  "I guess..."
     
	Ataru picked her up and turned her towards him.  "I bet they 
love you very much, don't they?"
     
	Akane seemed determined to be miserable.  "Of course they 
love me!  They're my family!  Families have to love each other!"
     
	Ataru's smile faded.  "That's not always true, Akane-chan.  
My mother is constantly wishing that I'd never been born.  My father 
spends so much time behind his newspaper that I don't know what he 
thinks.  I'd like to think they love me but...after so many years of
them treating me like an unwanted child, how can I?"
     
	Lum and Sakura were off to the side, stunned.  "Darling..." 
Lum murmured.
     
	"I had no idea he felt this way," Sakura said.  "Maybe that's 
why he's acting so strange."
     
	Lum glared at Sakura.  "Datcha!  He's acting wonderfully!  
So stop saying that it's weird!"
     
	Akane, meanwhile, was looking up at Ataru.  "I'm sorry..." 
she said.
     
	Ataru smiled again.  "It's alright.  But I bet your family tells 
you that they love you all the time, right?"
     
	Akane smiled.  "Yeah, they do."
     
	"Then don't you think they'd be worried about you?"
     
	"But I have to find Mommy!  I have to!  I know that she's not 
gone!  I can find her -- "
     
	Sakura looked sadly at the child.  She remembered her own 
father's death, and her refusal to accept it.  After several weeks, her 
mother and uncle were finally able to help her, but it was still one of 
the worst times of her entire life.  She needed to say something.
     
	"Akane-chan, you must accept that your mother is not going 
to be with you anymore.  It's a fact of life.  People are born, and then 
they die.  But your mother isn't gone."
     
	Akane looked up.  "W-what?"
     
	"She lives on inside you, Akane-chan.  And inside your 
sisters and your father.  Her love is within all of you.  I'm sure right 
now, she's somewhere else, thinking of all of you.  You wouldn't 
want to disappoint her, would you?"
     
	Akane briefly looked defiant.  "I'd never disappoint Mommy!"
     
	Sakura reached out to stroke Akane's hair.  "Then let her see 
you grow up to become a wonderful woman.  Let her see all that you 
can accomplish.  Because she will know.  That much I can guarantee 
you."  Akane was still weeping, but the tears seemed to be different.  
"I'll make you proud of me, Mommy," she whispered to the air.
     
	Sakura looked up to find Ataru and Lum grinning at her.  
"What's the matter with you?"
     
	Ataru chuckled.  "What have you done with the real Sakura?"
     
	"Why you -- "
     
	Suddenly, the most hideous face Akane had ever seen popped 
up out of nowhere.  "It's fate!" said the creature, in a voice like the 
death of all things.
     
	"Cherry, you bastard!"  Ataru, Sakura, and Lum went to 
pound Cherry into the ground.  But before they could do that, Akane 
sprung into action.
     
	"KYAAAA!!"  Akane reached into a dimension that hadn't 
been accessible to her until now, grabbed a mallet without thinking, 
and slammed Cherry into the stratosphere.  "GO AWAY!!!"
     
	Ataru, Lum, and Sakura stared at the mallet in Akane's hand.  
"This is going to make things more complicated," Sakura mused.
     
	"Will she be able to do that outside Tomobiki?" asked Ataru.
     
	"Oh, yes.  Lum would have to be off Earth for more than a 
few months before the powers stop.  I'll have to explain to her parents 
somehow."
     
	Akane was staring at the broken piece of mallet in her hand.  
"Woooow!" she cried.  "This is great!"
     
	Sakura put her head in her hands.  "Let's get this child back 
to her family.  Akane-chan, do you have anything with you we could 
use to help track down where you might live?"
     
	Akane frowned.  "Just this.  Daddy gave it to me."
     
	Sakura, Ataru and Lum looked at the small card.
     
	AKANE TENDOU, TENDOU DOJO, NERIMA.
     
	Akane looked at them in puzzlement.  "Why did you all 
smash your faces against the ground?"

***

     Sakura was taking Akane back to her home.  "Sakura-san, why 
did Ataru-san try to attack that woman after they left?"
     
	Sakura smirked.  "Just his natural tendencies reasserting 
themselves.  I don't know, Akane, maybe you have a power like Lum's 
that makes men want to protect you."
     
	She looked up at the sign for the dojo.  "Is this where you live,
Akane-chan?"
     
	"Uh-huh!"  Akane was looking almost manic as she tried once 
again to access hammerspace.  "Why can't I grab the mallet now, 
Sakura-san?"
     
	Sakura smiled.  "You need to be angry or frightened before 
you can do that, Akane-chan."
     
	Suddenly, what appeared to be a deranged maniac appeared at 
the gates of the dojo.  "Akane!  Oh, Akane, I was so worried!  Why do 
you do this to  your father!  Where did I fail you!  I'm sorry, I'll pay 
more attention to you -- "
     
	Akane interrupted her father.  "It's all right, Daddy.  I got lost, but
these nice people helped me find my way back home."
     
	The man was still sobbing, and appeared to be unable to 
carry on the conversation.  Luckily, two girls came out of the dojo.  
*They must be Akane's sisters," Sakura thought.
     
	The elder came up to her.  "Oh, thank you, thank you so 
much!  Where was she?"
     
	This was the subject Sakura didn't want to get into.  
"Yes...there's something I need to tell you."  She looked at the father, 
who had now passed out.  She turned back to the elder sister.  "Your 
sister has been through a lot today.  She may...act strangely after
this.  But don't worry, there is no danger involved."
     
	"Where was she?" asked the younger sister.  
     
	The elder gasped in surprise, as if the other one didn't talk.  
"Nabiki, you spoke!"
     
	The younger ignored her.  "Where was Akane?"
     
	Sakura turned and prepared to leave, ready as always for the 
dramatic exit.  "Tomobiki."
     
	Both of their eyes widened, and they looked at Akane with a 
wary expression.  Sakura sighed.  *This town is never going to get rid 
of its reputation,* she thought.

***

     The present.

     "So it's this weird dimension?  Because of the alien girl?" Ranma 
asked.
     
	Kasumi smiled.  "I suppose you think it's silly."
     
	Ranma shrugged.  "No sillier than any of the stuff that 
happens around here...in fact, I've got an idea."
     
	"Ranma!"  Akane had entered the house, mallet at the ready.  
"Are you ready to eat my cookies, or do I have to pound you again?"
     
	Ranma grinned.  "Perfect timing."  He turned to her and said, 
"Of course I'm not going to eat your cookies!  Your cooking is 
poisonous!"
     
	"Why you..." Akane swung down her mallet onto Ranma's 
head -- 
     
	And Ranma caught the handle deftly between his hands.  
"Ha!  It worked!"  He had paid careful attention to the descriptions of 
the Tomobiki people, and wondered whether he could try to emulate 
them.  "Now I don't have to worry about those mallets anymore, you 
kawaikunee tomboy!"
     
	Akane, who had been trying to drive the mallet onto his head, 
got even madder.  "Ranma..."
     
	Suddenly the air around the two of them seemed to sizzle.
     
	"NO..."
     
	Flashes of electricity coursed out through Akane's hands.
     
	"BAAAAAKKAAAAAA!!"
     
	Ranma screamed as voltage coursed through his body.  He 
dropped to the ground, looking very charred.
     
	"Oh, my!" said Kasumi.
     
	"Well, this is an interesting development..." said Nabiki.
     
	Akane stared at her hands wide-eyed.  "How on Earth did I 
do that?"


THE END


Notes:  Well, y'see, I've been reading Urusei Yatsura manga a lot.  
Especially towards the end of the series, mallets were used constantly 
by almost everyone.  Sakura, Nagisa, Ryouko, and especially Ataru.  
Yet in Ranma 1/2, with a few exceptions, it's mostly just Akane.  That 
led me to wondering...and led to this.

This was supposed to to be 100% humourous.  Best laid plans...there's 
a bit of angst in here, and even, God help me, character development.  
Sorry.

Thanks again to Zen, Richard, Sebastian, and Nick for prereading this.  
Thanks also to Henry Cobb, who inspired this, even if he doesn't know 
it.

--Sean Gaffney
--yes, I *know* Tomobiki is in Nerima.  Akane is seven!  
--Her place recognition is poor...